


There are no lights left in the city

by Kunstpause



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-05-15 23:42:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19306240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause
Summary: If she could tell anyone that she worked for a secret government agency they would probably think Cassia's life would be very exciting. It could not be further from the truth. As a data analyst Cassia is not the type to go on adventures or to meet new people - she rather leaves the excitement for the field agents like her sister.But sometimes you can't choose just what you get mixed up with. Or what people suddenly turn your world upside down.





	1. Prologue

Everything is always a matter of perspective. Someone who just freshly arrived in a new city will see it with vastly different eyes than someone who has lived there all their life. People who come from the countryside might find it too loud, too crowded and confusing even if they had been happy back home. Others from the same countryside might have hated everything they grew up with and instead see that same city as a possibility, something full of opportunities. 

Perspective.

Always different. Always changing even. The tiniest bit of additional information can change one’s entire perspective after all. Changing one’s life’s circumstances could. Meeting a new person could, as could losing someone. So if you ask two people to tell you about the same events, you might hear some vastly different stories. The great thing about that? Neither of them has to be untrue. They can be completely different and yet be entirely truthful at the same time. 

One person might say the story is about finding your way, learning what you really want from life and gaining the courage to go for it. Another may say that the story is about learning to let go, of leaving the past behind and finding out what they are willing to fight for. And of course it could also be about love.

When it’s all of that combined though, that’s when you know it is going to get interesting.


	2. Impossible tasks

When Cassia first arrived in Kirkwall, she didn’t really pay much attention to her surroundings. It was a city like every other. A little bit smaller than the last city she had lived in but not by much. For her it felt still too large, too full of people and most of all, it felt terribly busy. 

No matter what time she was outside, there were always too many people around. More often than not she opted to spend her time on her own or, if she had to be with other people, at least with only a selected few. Unlike her twin sister Adriene, Cassia wasn’t a very outgoing person and also unlike her sister, she hadn’t come to Kirkwall with a clear set of goals. Sure, her job set those for her, but as opposed to Adriene she had little personal investment in their cases. She was here because her sister was. Because their skillsets complemented each other.

Their parents had kept joking about how they really were two different sides of a coin. Adriene was always looking for a goal to reach, an adventure to take on. Meanwhile, Cassia rarely found anything that caught her interest enough to actually get invested in. She stayed her nights at home, reading about other people’s adventures while her sister went out having them instead.

But they nonetheless stuck together through everything. When Cassia had decided to go into data analysis for a career choice, Adriene had only shook her head, not really understanding how her sister could stand to work with datasets all day without going insane from boredom. But she had packed her bags, applied to the same university as her twin and found her passion in the more active field of criminology. 

Later, when Adriene had been so outstanding in her courses that the Agency had taken an interest in her, it had been Cassia who could not understand how her sister could be so excited about the prospect of working for a secret government organisation, but when the offer was extended to her, she followed her sister regardless. Despite their very different training and interests, they had ended on the same team after all. Adriene had quickly worked her way through the ranks through her impressive problem-solving skills while Cassia had made herself a name for her keen eye and her ability to see connections and patterns others missed.

And now they were here, in Kirkwall. A brand new mission with what seemed more and more like an almost impossible task. Organized crime had been a problem in every city they had ever worked in. Sometimes one they got to solve, other times one they had to work around. But with no other mission, it had felt so deeply entrenched into the very fabric of the city and its society than it felt in Kirkwall. The syndicate simply named ‘The Order’ was everywhere one looked. It was an old organization from what Cassia had researched about them beforehand. Centuries old. Once a simple crime family, it had grown in size and influence, gone through several names and restructures. They had been called a guild, masons, templars and many other names, but none of them could appropriately describe what the Order really was. In a way, Cassia thought, they were as much a part of the city as the walls of the city hall were. Cemented into the very foundation that was Kirkwall.

And Cassia, Adriene and the small team they had were supposed to uproot them. To get to the head. When Cassia had first read their mission directive, she had thought their boss was having them on. Later, after some superficial research she thought that it was perhaps the challenge Adriene had been looking for for a while already. Now, after several months of working this case and getting absolutely nowhere, even their team members who didn’t know their boss very well were convinced he hated one, or maybe even all of them, and this was their punishment. 

Kirkwall’s underworld had been literally impenetrable. There were no ins and connections they could use. The Order wasn’t recruiting and they weren’t looking for new partners. Most of the time, they were so well integrated into everyday life that it was hard to be certain about actually having found one of their operations.

This afternoon, all of them were feeling just the slightest bit more positive than usual. Over the past two weeks, they had worked almost nonstop, gathering every little shred of information they had together, working with the local police, pooling their resources until they finally had something to go on. Adriene was out there, together with the police captain, trying to make an arrest based on what they had found. Hoping that they would get to someone with some more information at least, maybe even a bigger fish if they got lucky.

The communication channel was quiet and Cassia was waiting, feeling the tension from the rest of their team permeate the entire room. She almost flinched when there was the sudden noise of static before she heard Adriene’s voice.

“Can you read me?” Adriene asked and Cassia could feel the nervous energy of Merrill almost bouncing from her chair next to her. 

“We read you, come in!” the young woman answered, sounding giddy with excitement.

Another static noise and then Adriene spoke again. “We got absolutely nothing, every location we hit was empty. A complete bust.”

There was a short moment of silence going through the room before everyone seemed to visibly deflate a bit. Sighs of disappointment and frustration filled the room.

“Crap,” Cassia murmured before she turned her own headset into Adriene’s frequency. “Are you coming home then?”

“No,” her sister answered and by now Cassia could hear the same frustration the entire team had also shine through her sister’s voice. “I’m going to wrap up here and then I’ll go sparring with Aveline. I really need to punch something!”

“Understandable.” Cassia looked over the sad faces around her. “I’ll wrap up here for the night then, no use to keep working. Debrief tomorrow morning?” 

“Copy that,” came Adriene’s short reply before she cut the connection.

With a sigh, Cassia pulled the headset off, carelessly throwing it onto her desk. All the positivity from earlier now completely gone.

“You heard the boss,” she said a bit louder, trying to smile encouragingly but she knew she was definitely not doing a very good job on that. “Everyone, go home. Try to have a nice evening at least.”

Merrill snorted slightly next to her. “Seriously, anything we could do in our time off would probably be nicer than the mood in here lately…”

She said it with a smile, but Cassia could see that the constant disappointments were getting to her friend. Merrill was usually the most upbeat out of all of them. Always seeing an upside, rarely ever getting upset. If the stress and frustration were getting to her, it was a sign that things were way past bad.

“I’m sorry,” Cassia said simply, putting an arm around her. “Maybe it’s time to contact someone in a higher office and have us pulled off this case.” It would look like a failure on their team’s resume, but at some point they would have to decide just how long they could reasonably fight against windmills after all.

Merrill shook her head. “No, we can’t! Adriene would be so mad about that, she has put so much into this!”

“We all have,” Cassia reminded her. “And Adriene has been saying the same thing to me a couple of days ago.” She could see Merrill’s eyes widen. 

“Really? Even Adriene thinks this is hopeless?” 

Cassia nodded solemnly. “She is getting there at least. But that’s all for tomorrow. Try to get some rest, alright?”

Merrill smiled brightly at her. “You too! Maybe even do something fun for a change?”

“I have plenty of fun, thank you!” Cassia murmured as she got her bag from underneath her desk. 

A laughter from Merrill rang through the by now almost empty office. “Yeah right. I mean normal people fun, like, I don’t know, going out for a drink! Dance somewhere or…” She seemed to think up more ideas. “Oh, watch a movie that is not a subtitled documentary?”

Cassia only shook her head. “Maybe, but I think for tonight I’m just going home. Good night, Merrill!”

With a last wave at her friend, she stepped outside, the slightly cold evening air feeling refreshing after a long day of being cooped up inside. She went along the way she usually took when she wanted to go home directly, walking the familiar path between all the already closed shops and barely even opened bars. The thought of going home at the end of the day was usually a good one. Tonight she felt something almost akin to dread, despite of what she had said to Merrill. She knew exactly what she was going to do once she got home after all. Obsessing about every minor detail of their plans from the past two weeks, trying to find out just where they had gone wrong. It would be a long night and Cassia sighed.

The bright neon lights of a bar blinked almost obnoxiously fast, pulling her out of her thoughts.  _ ‘Do something fun for a change!’ _ Merrill had said and Cassia scoffed inwardly. Fun? In her experience, bars weren’t fun at all. Then again, they had alcohol and a couple of drinks paired with far too loud music would at least make it impossible to think about their botched missions all night. With an uncharacteristic surge of spontaneity, she turned and went straight for the entrance.


	3. The good and the bad

It wasn’t a bar after all, Cassia realized as she went inside. More of a club? There were people dancing everywhere, loud music blaring from the speakers and colourful lights flickering through it all. For a moment, she almost turned around to leave again. Then again, clubs also had bars and she had come here for a drink and some distraction after all. 

Carefully, she made her way through the dancers, getting surprisingly lucky when she found a free bar stool to sit on as she ordered her drink. The atmosphere around her felt completely foreign. While observing the people on the dancefloor, she became acutely aware of the fact that she was absolutely not dressed for this place. Her casual blue pantsuit worked just fine in an office, but in a club like this, it was definitely out of place. She took a sip of her drink. She wasn’t even sure what exactly she had ordered. Something that sounded sweet and colourful. It was exactly what she had gotten and Cassia smiled as she put the glass down again. Perhaps this hadn’t been such a bad idea after all. 

There was someone sitting not far from her that kept shooting her looks. He hadn’t said anything to her, just looking and Cassia didn’t pay him much attention. The things that happened around her were almost overwhelming. Couples dancing, friends obviously having a fun night out, in a corner she could see two people having an argument and she briefly wondered what it might be about. When she took up her drink again, the man suddenly seemed to sit a lot closer. Or had she just imagined that? He still hadn’t said anything and Cassia tried to sneak some covert glances at him. Tall, muscular, what looked like a couple of days old beard, dressed in mostly leather, his dark hair gelled back. Objectively speaking, a decently attractive man, she thought, if not at all her type. 

She waved over the bartender to order another drink before turning her chair enough so she could watch the other side of the club. There was a second dancefloor, just as crowded as the first one and Cassia felt herself getting lost in watching the many different people dancing, fascinated by just how many different styles and movements seemed to work to the same kind of music. Maybe she really should take Merrill’s advice more often. And take Adriene along next time. Her sister would feel right at home here, and who knew, if she were with her, perhaps even Cassia would feel bold enough to try and dance. 

She turned back to the bar where her fresh drink already sat in front of her. It tasted even sweeter than the one before. Almost too sweet for her taste, but the barkeeper was busy with another order and Cassia shrugged to herself. It wasn’t so urgent that she had to make a fuss about it after all. She could wait for him to have some more breathing room before she asked about it. She kept the glass in her hand as got lost in watching the people around her again. 

A movement next to her took over her attention as the man she had watched earlier leaned towards her, looking like he was going to say something. Just in that moment, she felt a hand close around her own, gently grasping the glass in her hand. 

“Excuse me, Miss,” a smooth voice came from behind her while taking the drink out of her hand. “I have to advise you not to drink this.” 

Confused, Cassia turned around to look at the stranger who has just taken the drink from her and was now leaning slightly over the bar, pouring it out into one of the sinks. He was a good bit taller than her, around her age probably and looking right at home in the setting of the club with his casual clothes. She was still unsure what exactly was happening when there suddenly were two people who looked like security next to the dark-haired man from earlier.

“We need you to come with us,” one of them said as they took his shoulder.

“What is going on?” Cassia asked, getting up from her seat, not sure if she should be addressing the security guys or the man behind her who was stepping around, in between her and the other man who looked visibly annoyed while being forcefully escorted out of the club.

“I am so sorry,” he said apologetically. “We caught this guy on a security cam as he was putting something into your drink when you weren’t looking,” he explained and Cassia’s eyes widened. It had been sweeter! What had she been drinking? Her slightly panicked look must have shown on her face.

“We are taking him of the premises and the police has been called,” he assured her. “Do you have someone you can call to pick you up? To make sure you get home safely?”

Cassia nodded, pulling out her phone to call her sister. “I am feeling fine though,” she mentioned while scrolling through her contacts. “It tasted a bit sweeter but I think I only had one sip actually. And I don’t notice anything.”

“Better safe than sorry though,” the man said plainly. “If someone actively tries to spike your drink you probably shouldn't go home on your own.”

He was definitely right about that. The phone was only ringing for a couple of times when it went straight to voicemail. Damn it. Adriene only ever turned her phone off when she was already asleep or too drunk to go anywhere. Without leaving a message, Cassia hung up again and called Merrill instead, but she seemed to have no luck there either. Voicemail again. But unlike Adriene, she knew Merrill regularly checked those and that it was very unlikely that her friend was already asleep. She left a short message explaining what had happened and where she was, asking her friend to call back as soon as possible. After she hung up, she let out a deep breath. It hit her just right then how close she had gotten to something that could have turney really bad. 

“Fuck,” she cursed quietly before looking at the man who had prevented all that. “I don’t even know how to thank you.” 

“No need,” he smiled at her. “All part of the job, really.”

“You work in the security for this thing?” she asked, gesturing around her and he shook his head with a quiet laugh. 

“No, I manage  _ ‘this thing’, _ I was checking in with the security guys just when it happened.” He looked her over before nodding at the barstool. “Maybe sit down again? You look a bit shaken. I can wait with you until your friend gets back to you,” he offered. 

Cassia shot him a grateful look as she sat down. “Again: thank you!”

He took the now empty barstool next to her and waved the bartender over, ordering a glass of water for her. “I’m Cullen, by the way,” he introduced himself.

“Cassia,” she answered with a smile and a polite, “Nice to meet you, even if it’s under very strange circumstances.”

He chuckled slightly at that before nodding. “The circumstances could be better, yes. So what brings you here all alone on a workday evening?” 

Cassia blinked, for a moment not knowing how to explain the weird mood that had led her to spontaneously try out a random club she had never been to before. Cullen seemed to take her hesitation for something else though.

“I apologize if that sounded like I was hitting on you,” he quickly added, and the look that he gave her seemed genuinely worried. “I am not trying to make you more uncomfortable, especially after something like this.”

Cassia’s thoughts were all over the place. “Trying to hit on me?” she asked confused. She hadn’t even assumed that he was. Hitting on her that was. But now that he said the words, she couldn’t help but have her thoughts go there as she looked at him. He was certainly good-looking with his broad shoulders and the blonde, neatly styled hair. There was a small scar on his upper lip that moved when he smiled and his eyes… Cassia didn’t know how to explain it but they looked warm. Inviting. 

“I really wasn’t,” Cullen assured her again and to her own surprise she found herself just a bit disappointed.

“Oh,” she just said, trying not to look at him as she ignored the silly feeling. She didn’t even know this man. Why would she even care if he would or wouldn’t be interested in her? She definitely hadn’t come here in the hopes of meeting someone after all.

“And now you look almost disappointed.” The tone of his voice made her look up again and she knew he could probably read her thoughts on her face as a glint appeared in his eyes. Something on his face had changed and where he had been looking at her in concern before there was something else now. Interest. His eyes didn’t leave hers and it felt like there was a subtle shift as his entire demeanour changed. “Did you want me to come on to you?” he asked, and the forwardness of his question sent a spark through Cassia.

“I think I do,” she admitted, still caught up in his eyes. 

“Then let me try this again,” Cullen said smoothly. “Same question, but with a definite attempt of trying to get to know you better.” His eyes went to her clothing. “I assume you are not her for the dancing?”

Cassia felt slightly flustered already. Her earlier feeling of not really fitting into this environment returning. “It was a spontaneous decision,” she answered. “I was on my way home from work and just thought  _ ‘why not’ _ ?”

Cullen pushed the newly arrived glass of water towards her. “And? Are you regretting the  _ ‘why not’ _ already?” 

She took the glass from him, drinking about half of it before she sat it down onto the bar again. “I was starting to, but now I think I’m not. Not anymore.” Cassia managed to push aside the earlier insecurity of feeling out of place. Cullen seemed to not care, his eyes not leaving her even more a moment. So why should she? 

“I’m glad I could remedy the first, really bad impression you got from this club then,” he said with a wink that had Cassia feel a tingle of excitement run down her back.

“It doesn’t really have anything to do with the club,” Cassia blurted out. Before she could think about what she had just said, Cullen’s deep chuckle distracted her.

“You are very direct,” he said, giving her a look that made her cheeks heat up.

“I’m…” she started, trying to make the situation less awkward. “Can I blame it on the spiked drink?” Cassia send him an apologetic smile. “I normally don’t blurt out my every thought like that.”

“Don’t apologize, I rather like it,” Cullen assured her. “It is nice to not have to guess what someone else might be thinking for a change.” Something about the way he said it made Cassia pause and think about his words.

“Do people normally not tell you what they really think then?” she asked playfully, but the look he gave her was somehow unreadable.

“Do people ever?” His voice was quiet and Cassia was tempted to ask a follow-up question when her phone suddenly went off with her text notification. Merrill. 

_ ‘I said have fun, not get into trouble! I’m on my way, be there in five. Meet at the entrance!’ _

“That was my friend,” she told Cullen, looking up from her phone again. “She’ll be here in a few minutes, taking me home.”

Now that the unsettled feelings from earlier were completely gone, Cassia was almost sad that she would have to leave. Then again, he had taken time off his work already just to keep her company. The thought that this was actually his workplace stopped all her other thoughts. Maybe he had just been indulging her, making her feel comfortable. Would it be too forward from her to ask him if she could have his number? She felt almost a bit foolish about already having gotten her hopes up.

“Listen,” he suddenly interrupted her thoughts. “I know this might feel strange, especially after what happened earlier, but I would really like to see you again.”

A wide smile spread over Cassia’s face as he took all her anxious thoughts away with that one single sentence. “I’d like that too,” she admitted as she got up.

Before she could get ready to leave, he was handing her his phone. “Give me your number and I’ll take you out for lunch tomorrow.” 

Cassia’s eyebrows went up as she was typing her number into his phone. Tomorrow already? A warm feeling spread through her as she realized that her worry had been for nothing.

“I’m looking forward to it!” she grinned as she handed him back his phone and he accompanied her to the club entrance where she could see Merrill already waiting for her. As he wished her a good night with another smile that made something in her flutter again, Cassia thought to herself that despite the earlier scare, the evening had definitely been one of the better ones she had experienced in Kirkwall so far.


	4. First steps

The next day had started as bleak as the working part of the day before had ended. The debriefing had everyone down before it had even been 10am. Adriene had been frustrated, the rest of the team had been in various states of being demoralised. The reports from police captain Aveline made it even worse, driving home just how fruitless the entire stint had been. 

Cassia was more than glad when lunchtime finally came around. Cullen had texted her a time and a location, not too far from the club she had been in yesterday and Cassia had felt somewhat giddy as she waited for him in front of the restaurant. It was a small, rather quiet Italian place. Cozy and surprisingly not crowded at all like she was used to from every other restaurant she had been to around lunchtime so far. The food was amazing and Cassia had been surprised to notice that Cullen seemed to look even better in daylight. She couldn’t help but sneaking glances at him as they talked about this and that, blushing slightly whenever he caught her. It would have been embarrassing if he hadn’t also been looking at her, not hiding his interest at all. 

What had kept her from getting completely lost in her slight infatuation was that their conversation was surprisingly normal. Interesting, but staying in the rather safe territory of discussing books, recent news and a very generic description of her work. 

Cassia was used to explain what she did to people in a way that hid where she worked or who she worked for. Something that ultimately made the subject of what she did for a living even more dry and uninteresting to talk about, she had to admit. But he had asked and listened to her explanations, still looking absorbed in what she had to say which, at least from Cassia’s perspective, was rather rare. 

“I’m so sorry, I talk too much about boring stuff again,” she decided to switch the topic after all, not wanting to test his limits on just how much her would be willing to indulge her, but Cullen seemed to have a different opinion.

“Not at all! This is absolutely fascinating,” he assured her and sounded so honest about it that Cassia couldn't help but feel impressed.

She smiled at him. “I appreciate it, really! But I’ve been talking about standardized forms for the last ten minutes…”

He shook his head. “No, you have been talking about finding ways to beat a system that sounds like it was designed to make people not want to fight it.”

“Huh?” Cassia blinked. She had just been explaining how she used several official forms, that all contradicted each other, to finally get a budget approved through a loophole. A budget her boss really hadn’t wanted to approve. Cullen’s description was kind of on point. “I guess I did,” she admitted with a small laugh. “That does sound a bit cooler that just  _ ‘forms’ _ , that’s true.”

“How can you claim your work is boring when you just described that you figured out how to force something  _ technically illegal _ ,” Cullen gave her a stern look that was obviously fake by the grin on his face before he went on, “through a system that had to follow its own rules until they legitimized what you did!”

She had to take a moment to let that sentence sink in. What an overly complicated but really damn fancy way of describing that she cheated the system. “I should hire you as my hype man,” she declared. “You make me sound so much wilder than I am.”

Cullen laughed, giving her a pointed look. “I am a very busy man, but I think I could make time for that!”

She felt her cheeks glow warmly at his words, smiling brightly at him. “Now I just have to hope no auditor catches on.”

“And then you can say you got away with the perfect crime!” He winked at her before tipping his glass slightly in her direction in a mock toast. 

“Shit, I did, didn’t I?” Cassia had to stifle a small nervous giggle as she became aware that he was right. “Technically that wasn’t completely legal. Though I would call it more of a cheat of the system than a perfect crime really…”

“You wouldn’t like to get the reputation as a criminal mastermind?” he asked, obviously greatly amused by their conversation and Cassia let out a dramatic sigh.

“If I had known that you can become one by simply filling out some forms, I would have maybe considered that as a career part,” she grinned before she shook her head. “Ok, not really. I would be really bad at that. Submitting those forms, knowing that I was bending the rules, already made me far too nervous.”

Cullen chuckled softly. “I guess it’s back to honest work for you then!”

Cassia was still laughing along as she saw him look at his watch, cursing quietly. “Damn it, I have to be back at work shortly,” he said apologetically before waving over the waiter and asking for the bill. 

With her own look onto her phone and her missed messages, Cassia realized that they had been sitting in the quiet little restaurant for almost two hours by now. She quickly texted her sister that she was done with lunch and would be back shortly. She watched him pay for their food while thinking about how she couldn’t really remember ever having lost track of time like this when she had been with another person. On her own, absorbed in her world or a good book? Sure. But with someone else? Normally, it was the exact opposite. She enjoyed a bit of conversation, some spent time together but then she became restless, wondering when enough time had passed so she could make an excuse to leave. Yet she found herself thinking that she wouldn’t mind staying right here, talking to him for much longer. A smile hushed over her face at that.

“You know what?” she asked, as the waiter went away again and they got up. “Before I go back to all that honest work, let me try the criminal mastermind thing one more time.”

Cullen paused to look at her. “What about being too nervous?”

“Oh, I’m taking all my courage together!” she said with a wink.

“What, you are going to do something illegal?” Cullen gave her a scandalized look. He had taken her coat, holding it out to help her put it on. “Right here? I’m intrigued!”

Cassia felt a shiver running through her at the drop of his voice as she put on her coat. Him helping her into it meant he was suddenly much closer than he had been before and she felt herself flush. “I… That’s not what I meant, I mean…” she stammered as Cullen bent over slightly, coming even closer.

“I was just joking,” he all but whispered into her ear. “But I would absolutely love to know where your mind is right now!”

Cassia felt her breath hitch. Her heart was suddenly beating furiously in her chest. “I was going to say since I gave you advice about financial stuff, you could technically bill this as a work lunch and put it on your taxes…” she all but blurted out hastily, causing Cullen to chuckle in honest amusement.

“That is actually great advice!” he agreed but he hadn’t stepped away yet. Instead his hands had come to rest on her shoulders, his voice sounding low. “But that’s not where your thoughts went afterwards at all, isn’t it?” 

Cassia was glad that he couldn’t see her face, fighting her furious blush as she found herself shaking her head. “Not really,” she admitted shakily and she heard Cullen take in a deep breath as his hands left her shoulders, running down her arms.

“Go out with me!” There was a hint of urgency in his voice that had Cassia feel warm inside as she turned around to face him. “Tomorrow night,” he insisted. “I have to go on a small business trip two days from now and I don’t think I can wait another week before I see you again.”

“I’d love to,” she answered before she had even thought about it. Did she have something planned for tomorrow already? She really hoped she hadn’t, or whoever else wanted some of her time would have to live with being cancelled on. Tomorrow. That meant she had about a day to stop all that furious blushing she had been doing. “That might just give me enough time to find my composure again,” she muttered under her breath but Cullen had definitely heard her.

“Wonderful!” he said with a smile before leaning in close enough so she could see herself reflected in his eyes. “I am already thinking up more ways of making you lose it,” he murmured lowly. “You look absolutely breathtaking when you are flustered.”

Cassia gasped audibly as he drew back, staring at him with wide eyes. He couldn’t just… How did he even? She definitely wasn’t used to someone being this forward but at least he didn’t seem to see her lack of answer for a bad sign as he sent her another wink and led her out of the restaurant. 

“I have to run, but text me your address and I’ll pick you up at seven,” he said and with a last grin and goodbye he was gone.

Cassia was still recovering, unable to fight the wide smile on her face when a familiar laugh made her turn around. Behind her, leaning against a streetlamp was Adriene, grinning widely at her. 

“How did you even know where I was?” Cassia asked, confused. “I literally just texted you a few minutes ago…”

“You wear a tracker in your purse  _ and _ you have your phone’s GPS on,” Adriene only shrugged. “And you  _ never _ go out for lunch, can’t blame me for being curious!” She pushed herself off the streetlamp to join Cassia on their way back to the office. “I figured if it was something you didn’t want me to know you’d have turned that stuff off,” she added. “So, was that the guy from last night then?”

Cassia nodded. “Yeah, that was him. The nice one, not the creepy one, I mean!”

Adriene laughed, bumping her shoulder into Cassia’s. “Of course the nice one! Seriously, why would I assume you’d meet the other one for lunch?”

“I don’t know,” Cassia mumbled, her thoughts still circling around her conversation with Cullen.

“Well, I know,” Adriene said, sounding obnoxiously cheerful. “It’s because you are totally whipped and have lost all brain capacity!” 

She was getting ready to protest but really her sister wasn’t wrong. “I might be going onto an actual date tomorrow night…” Cassia admitted, still smiling to herself.

“My sister, going onto an actual date with a good-looking guy who is apparently also a knight in shining armor?” Adriene was looking genuinely excited for her. “I’m happy for you! You work too much and don’t have nearly enough fun!”

Usually, Cassia would disagree with that sentiment, but if she was honest with herself, she had been having more fun in the last two hours than she had probably had in the past four months together. And it had been with a man she had just met who was not only gorgeous but also funny and, most of all, seemed really interested in her. 

“Yeah,” she grinned. “I have a really good feeling about this.” 


	5. Freefall

The good feeling only lasted for a little more than a day, until Cassia realized that she had absolutely no idea of how to prepare for a date she knew nothing about. Cullen had confirmed again that he would pick her up after she had given him her address, but apart from that he had said nothing about where they would be going except that it was a surprise. Should she dress for a club? She wasn’t sure she even had anything in her closet that would even remotely make her fit in there. Then again, she could probably borrow something from her sister if she had to. 

What if they went somewhere to dinner where such an outfit would be horribly inappropriate though? Cassia was aware that she was most likely overthinking the whole thing. With a sigh, she sat down on her bed, pulling out her phone to call Merrill only to hang up three minutes later feeling like an idiot for not thinking of the most simple solution herself.

 _‘Just text him and say you want to make sure to dress appropriately and ask him if there’s a dress code, Cassia!’_ her friend had said in between laughs. 

She let out a disbelieving laugh as she followed Merrill’s advice and texted Cullen. Adriene had been right the day before, she had definitely lost all her brain-capacity over this date.

Cullen’s answer came only a couple of minutes later. 

 _‘Elegant evening wear._ _  
_ _Something you would wear to the symphony.’_

The symphony? Cassia could definitely choose an outfit based on that. Though it felt like an odd choice for a first date, spending it somewhere where they wouldn’t get to talk to each other for hours in a row. Just in that moment her phone buzzed again.

 _‘Don’t worry, we are not going to the symphony!_  
_Oh, and if you have something like that in your wardrobe you_  
_might want to go for something with a wide and flowing skirt._ _  
For the optimized experience._ ’

Cassia stared at her phone, glad that no one was around her to watch her almost choke on air. How was she even supposed to take this? Before she could think twice about it, she was already texting him back.

_‘For the optimized experience???’_

Cullen’s answer came quickly again.

 _‘I swear that was not supposed to be innuendo._  
_Trust me._ _  
You’ll see when we get there._ ’

Cassia wasn’t sure if that text made everything just more confusing but she sent back a sceptical looking smiley and an _‘ok’_ before finally starting to get ready, now that she had some sort of idea what to wear.

Cullen picked her up right on time and all the nervous energy and her worrying took a backseat behind the fluttering feeling of excitement that spread through her the moment she saw him. Elegant evening wear that came in the form of an immaculately tailored suit on him made him look different than before. More serious somehow, almost stern if it weren’t for the wide smile on his face. 

“You should have just told me that it’s a black tie event,” Cassia grinned at him as he opened the car door for her. She was glad that she had chosen to go with the slightly dressier version of her evening wear choices. “I almost underdressed!”

Cullen was still smiling but there was a glint of _something_ in his eyes as he took in the long, light blue dress she was wearing. “You look absolutely breathtaking!” he said without even trying to hide just how much he appreciated her look.

As Cullen joined her in the backseat, she realized that he had a driver with him. He seemed to be determined to go all out for this date and Cassia found it harder and harder to contain her curiosity. 

“So, are you going to tell me where we are going or do I have to wear a blindfold or something?” she asked as they drove along the familiar inner city roads.

“A blindfold? I wish I would have thought of that!” Cullen sent her a heated look as he leaned slightly towards her. They weren’t even touching but they sat close enough to each other that it would only take another small shift to do so. “Maybe for another time,” he murmured before he leaned back again, leaving Cassia to her inner struggle of not letting herself get too flustered. “But no, I can tell you some bits. We are on our way to the national museum of history.”

Her beginning blush completely forgotten, Cassia perked up. “But that is closed for renovations!” Something she knew for a fact since it had been one of the things she had looked forward to visiting in Kirkwall. And something she had just mentioned at lunch yesterday. 

“Normally, yes,” Cullen agreed, a secretive smile on his face. “But tonight there is a charity event for which they have opened part of the already completed floor.”

Cassia felt excitement bubbling up in her. Of all the places he could have taken her for a first date, this was not something she would have ever even thought about. “What is the charity event for?” she asked curiously, only to be met with an apologetic shrug.

“I have no idea if I’m honest,” Cullen admitted. “I wasn’t really interested in that.”

He wasn’t? Now Cassia was beginning to feel confused again. “So what were you interested in then?”

Cullen had an unreadable look on his face as he shook his head. “That would be back into surprise territory.”

“Alright…” Cassia said slowly, trying to make sense out of all of this. So the event wasn’t the surprise and the museum itself apparently wasn’t either? A look at Cullen made it obvious that he was not going to tell her anything more, but Cassia guessed that the answers wouldn’t be far off. Not with the car already slowing down in front of their destination. “I can wait a bit longer,” she said with a smile.

Cullen’s answering smile was full of promise. “Trust me, it’s going to be worth it!”

As they stepped outside, Cassia’s eyes immediately fell onto the large posters advertising the event. This was not something anyone could just walk into, it looked like.

“Cullen, this is a closed event!” she pointed out. Cullen grinned at her, pulling something out of his jacket.

“I know someone who knows someone who frequently stops by the club and owed me favour,” he said almost casually as he handed a very formal-looking invitation to someone guarding the entrance. They waved them through without a second thought.

The very nice town car with a personal driver earlier and now he knew someone who knew someone? Cassia couldn’t help but wonder just how connected he was. “I am impressed!” she said, still busy taking in their environment.

Cullen was chuckling next to her. “That is not even the thing I wanted to impress you with,” he murmured quietly as he took her coat and handed it off to someone at the coat check. She could see his eyes widen ever so slightly as he noticed the very low cut her dress had at her back and smiled to herself.

“You are really building up the suspense, you know?” she noted. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll create expectations you can’t fill?”

He had the audacity to laugh as they entered the brightly illuminated hall in front of them. “Not really, no…”

Inside, Cassia was far too busy looking around and taking in all that was happening to come up with an answer. The main hall and the elaborate old fashioned stairways that were at the center of it were something Cassia had only ever seen in pictures. And those were from before they had started to renovate the entire place. No picture she had seen came even close to comparison now that she was standing in front of the real thing. 

While this place was normally the starting point that lead to the various exhibitions the museum was housing at all times, it had been repurposed into an impromptu art gallery on its own for this night. From classical masterworks to modern art, it was an illustrious mix of beauty. Some pieces had small tables with papers and envelopes next to them. A silent auction, Cassia realized. Probably the charity part of this event Cullen had mentioned earlier. 

He had gotten them two glasses of champagne and Cassia had taken his held-out arm as they slowly wandered around, admiring the different art pieces.

“Just look at all this art in one room!” Cassia almost whispered as she admired a particularly well-done display of statues. “The pieces are amazing! Some I didn’t even know about before?”

“They did a very impressive job, yes,” Cullen agreed. “The more unknown pieces are on loan from a private collection.”

Cassia was stunned. A private collection? Housing things like this? She shook her head. “I know it’s a rich-people-hobby to collect art, but honestly, things like this are too beautiful to waste away somewhere where people can’t see them.” It seemed like such a waste. “Art is meant to be shared, not bunkered away in some air conditioned basement.”

Cullen sounded thoughtful next to her. “Perhaps collectors just like the art so much they want to have it all to themselves?”

“That’s a bit selfish, isn’t it?” Cassia muttered, still mesmerized by the paintings around them.

For a moment, Cullen looked like he wanted to argue the point he made but then his look changed. “You are not wrong,” he admitted. “Perhaps it is just selfishness.”

Cassia let out a sigh as she tore her eyes away from a painting of some renaissance social event. “It’s not that I can’t understand it, though.” She turned to look at Cullen. “Thank you for taking me here! I’ve wanted to see this place since I first thought about moving to Kirkwall and I was so disappointed that I couldn’t so far…”

“I know, you mentioned that at lunch.” His slightly smug smile made Cassia laugh.

“If you can make miracles like this happen in less than a day, maybe I should start mentioning more things I dream about doing,” she said cheerfully only for the sound of her laughter to suddenly die in her throat as Cullen moved a bit closer and into her personal space.

“You definitely should!” he said smoothly. “You know, all this beautiful art in one room, and I still would much rather spend the evening looking at you.” Cassia swallowed audibly at the sudden drop of his voice. He had that look in his eyes again, the look that had made her stomach flutter and her breath go slightly faster. His smile widened at her reaction. “Ah, there is that delightful blush again.”

Cassia was still trying to get a grip, to pull herself together when he suddenly took her hand.

“Come on, the speeches are starting, time for the main event!” 

She followed him out of reflex before she could even think about what he could mean. The main event? He gently pulled her along, away from the crowd of people and the small improvised stage. Wasn’t the main event where they had just been at?  

“Where are we going?” she asked, trying to understand what was happening.

Cullen shot her a conspiratal look over his shoulder. “Just wait a little bit more, this is the surprise!”

He hurried her along towards the side of the hall and she found herself pulled behind a large red curtain. It was a bit darker behind the heavy fabric and her eyes took a moment to get used to the lack of light. When they did, she saw that the curtain had been hiding a large door. A door to which Cullen apparently had managed to get a key for, she realized as he carefully unlocked it, obviously trying not to make too much noise.

“Come on,” Cullen hurried her along, “before someone sees us.”

Cassia had been about to follow him when she saw that rather prominent sign on the door right in front of her. “Cullen,” she pulled at his arm. “It says that this part is still closed for renovations!”

He didn’t seem to share her concern at all as he shrugged. “I know, just ignore it!”

“But it says authorized personnel only.” Cassia shook her head. “We are not authorized personnel, Cullen!”

He stopped to turn around to her. For a moment, Cassia was almost worried that she had annoyed him with making a fuss but there was a hint of amusement on his face. That, and a very intense look as his eyes met hers. “Cassia, do you trust me?”

His smile was warm as he held out his hand for her to take and Cassia found herself nodding.

“Then come with me!” he urged quietly and a moment later, when she took his hand, he pulled her past the sign and through the mysterious door. Behind her, he carefully closed it again and she heard the lock snap shut. What on earth was he even trying to do? It seemed like she had no choice but to simply follow along if she wanted to figure out what the ominous surprise actually was.

He guided her along a freshly renovated but still rather empty hallway until the noises from the charity event weren’t even audible anymore. Cassia wondered just how far into the large museum building they actually were by now as Cullen suddenly stopped and turned around a corner until they were in front of a set of overly large doors. 

“Alright, this is it.” He sounded excited as he pushed one of the doors open enough just so they could slip through. Whatever lay behind was not really visible as the room was almost completely dark. The heavy door fell shut behind them.

“Just one more moment,” Cullen muttered. “The light should be around… ah, here it is!” 

She heard a switch flip and it took another second before the lights around the room gradually turned on. Piece by piece they lit up, and Cassia’s eyes went wide as she found herself standing in a rather enormous ballroom. The floor was shining under the bright lights and she didn’t even know where to look first. The ornately decorated walls, the ceiling covered in detailed paintings or the impressive chandelier hanging at the center of the room. Something about this looked familiar. A painting she had seen earlier came to mind. “This is…” she wondered quietly.

“An exact replica of the royal ballroom from the old castle that stood quite close to here a long time ago,” Cullen confirmed. “They reconstructed it from the paintings that survived from that time. It’s going to feature in the grand re-opening in a couple of weeks.”

Fascinated, Cassia tried to take in what she saw. She had always loved art and architecture, visited museums and exhibitions and old historical sights rather frequently, but never before had she seen anything as impressive as this. 

“This is…” she started, losing her train of thought almost immediately. “I’m rather speechless, I have to admit. I mean… how? Why?” 

Cullen came up behind her. Except for offering her his arm he hadn’t been touching her at all so far but now he was so close that she could almost feel the jacket of his suit against her mostly bare back. 

“You said you like to dance but wouldn’t know what to do on a club dancefloor,” he said softly as one of his hands came to rest on her arm and she felt like her skin was tingling underneath his touch.

“I didn’t tell you how much I loved ballroom dancing though,” Cassia mumbled, still engrossed in the sight in front of her. 

Cullen chuckled. “Lucky guess? It seemed to fit with what else I knew about you. Ballroom dancing seemed much more like your style.”

“It is,” Cassia admitted as she tried to wrap her head around this. A nervous laughter rose up in her. “I don’t like club dancing, so you go and get me an entire ballroom?” Her voice was full of disbelief. Suddenly she remembered his text from earlier that evening. Specifically his remark about what she should choose to wear made a lot of sense now.

“Oh, it gets better,” Cullen promised her. “Wait here, I even got us music!” He left her standing where she was. A moment later she heard another switch being flipped and then there were the soothing sounds of an orchestra playing a slow waltz filling up the room.

Cullen was suddenly in front of her, holding his hand out with a small flourish. “May I have this dance?”

A squeal of delight left Cassia’s mouth before she could stop herself as she took the offered hand and let herself be pulled into his arms and onto the dancefloor. 

Cassia felt like she was floating as he led her around with sure steps. Cullen definitely knew what he was doing. More than that even, she thought as she realized that he was actually a rather good dancer. The various lights in the ballroom blended together as they danced past them, the music giving the whole thing an almost fairytale-like atmosphere. Part of her was still struggling to understand that this was actually happening. It felt almost surreal. Cassia had very limited dating experience, shutting herself off from the world as often as she did. But even with that, she knew that this was not generally something that happened on firsts dates. Or any dates really.

It was definitely happening right now though. The music piece ended and there was only a small moment of silence before the next one started. 

“I can’t believe this is real right now,” she murmured as they twirled around. “I’m… I just… you did that!”

Cullen chuckled, not missing a single step. ““Well, I have to admit I did have an ulterior motive…”

Cassia’s eyebrows rose up. “Ulterior motive?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I really, _really_ wanted to make sure you would say yes to a second date!”

Cassia didn’t know what she had expected him to say, but she hadn’t counted on his answer being so very charming. “I’d have probably said yes anyway, regardless of where we would have gone if I’m honest,” she admitted.” “Hell, I’d have said yes to _club dancing_ if you were the one asking me to.”

“Good to know!” Cullen sent her an amused look. “That means I don’t actually have to top this next time?”

She grinned. “I doubt that would be possible...”

Something flickered in his eyes. “Careful, I might take that as a challenge…”

Cassia shook her head slightly. “It’s really not necessary,” she said softly. “But it’s not like I would try to stop you…”

They danced until she was out of breath and had to ask for a time out. The music went on playing around them as Cassia took her time, wandering around and taking in all the little details of the absolute beauty of the ballroom. 

“How long can we stay here?” she asked curiously while craning her head to get a better look at the painted ceiling. 

Cullen’s voice came from right next to her. “We should leave before they are closing down the charity.” He took a look at his watch. “We have some time, at least two more hours.”

Cassia smiled happily. She was in absolutely no hurry to leave. For a while, they just kept talking, admiring the artful work around them, pointing out small details to each other and Cassia caught herself thinking more than once that this might just be the best evening out she had ever spent with someone. There were in the middle of a conversation when the music changed again and so did the look on Cullens face as he sent her a speculative look. When she heard the different style she realized why.

“I think I have to ask you for another dance,” he said with a look that sent shivers down her back. “Provided you know how to tango?”

Cassia did. Technically at least. Frantically, she thought back to her long-past dancing lessons, trying to remember. “In theory,” she said slowly. “But I’m not sure I am any good at it. It’s been ages.”

Despite her doubts, she took his hand again as he offered and he pulled her against him. “Don’t worry,” he murmured as she felt his hands slide over her. “Just follow my lead.”

A moment later Cassia realized that the difficulty wasn’t actually remembering the steps but rather trying to not embarrass herself by tripping over her own feet from being so distracted. Cullen was so much closer than before. His eyes were on her with an intensity that made it hard to breathe. And his touches… From what she remembered from her dance lessons they were supposed to be much more for show. Dancing with one of the instructors had certainly never even remotely felt like this. There was absolutely no polite decorum behind Cullen’s hands as he slid them up her back and along her shoulders, firmly putting her arms around his neck. 

More and more, Cassia started to remember how to actually do this, but it didn’t really help the feeling of constantly being thrown off by his boldness. A spin here, a twist there and when he pulled her back against him, he held her so close that her breath hitched. Cassia felt almost lightheaded as she followed his moves, letting herself be pushed and pulled along to the dance almost like in a trance.

When the music stopped, she was more out of breath than she had been before. Cullen’s hand was low on her back, holding her against him and his face was so close that Cassia could feel his warm breath on her. In a sudden burst of courage she looked him straight in the eyes. “If this doesn’t end with you kissing me right now I’ll be sorely disappointed,” she breathed out and something in his eyes lit up as his whole posture subtly changed. The hand on her back got a bit firmer and his other hand was suddenly on her face, fingers trailing down her cheek, sending goosebumps down her neck.

“I would never want to disappoint you,” he said with a low rumble before dipping down his head and brushing his lips over hers. Cassia felt like everything around them just stood still for a moment at the tentative touch. After the intensity of their dance, she had expected a very different kind of kiss somehow, but the gentle press of his lips against hers made her feel warm inside. She moaned softly against his lips and she felt him stop. Suddenly he was tense against her, his hand slipping around her neck. 

“Cassia,” he mumbled against her lips and she could feel his fingers on her back twitch slightly. There was something urgent in the way his voice sounded. “I want…”

“Yes!” she breathed against him. Cassia had no idea what it was exactly, that he wanted but it didn’t matter. She was pretty sure she would want the same thing. And like that, the tension in him seemed to snap as his hands on her tightened and his mouth was back on hers, far less gentle and a lot more insistent than before. 

Cassia opened her lips against him and with a low moan, he deepened their kiss. She had imagined what kissing him might be like, but nothing she had come up with even remotely compared to the real thing. His hand was roaming over the parts of her back that the dress left exposed, touching every bit of skin he could reach. Cassia shuddered under his touch, burying her fingers in his hair. When he finally drew back, he looked at her in amazement. 

“I had planned to give you a very chaste good night kiss when I bring you home,” he said slowly, his voice sounding slightly hoarse. 

Cassia felt a small grin forming on her face. “Then you probably shouldn’t have started to feel me up during the dance,” she said cheekily. 

“I have no excuse for that,” he murmured. “Other than that you feel absolutely perfect in my arms.”

Her stomach fluttered again at his words. “You really don’t need an excuse,” she murmured, feeling like she could get lost in his eyes. 

“If I didn’t have a very early flight in the morning, I would convince you to come home with me right now,” he said with a slight growl in his voice before kissing her again. Cassia felt herself getting hot at the mere thought and the unabashed decisiveness with which he had said this. She knew in that moment that if he would try, there would be absolutely no convincing of any kind necessary. 

“I guess that means,” she got out in between kisses, “we are definitely going for a second date once you’re back.” 

He hummed appreciatively, his hands sliding down her back again. “Dinner at my place, I’ll cook for you.” His voice was still impossibly low and Cassia nodded eagerly.

“How could I say no to that…” her breath hitched as one of his hands dropped lower, sliding over her hips and onto her ass. The thin fabric of her dress still let her feel the heat of his touch she let out a needy noise as he squeezed, fingers digging into the soft flesh of her behind. 

All of a sudden, Cullen’s hand froze just for a moment, before he let it wander to her lower back only to continue to her hips. His eyebrows rose as he shot her a questioning look. Earlier in the evening, Cassia would have probably blushed at his discovery, but the open desire on his face had her full of confidence as she smiled sweetly at him.

“This is really not the kind of dress you can wear anything underneath without it showing through,” she said, sounding almost apologetically. The groan he let out as his hand wandered down again sent a spark of excitement through her.

“Damn it Cassia,” he cursed and for the first time since they had met Cassia thought that his voice sounded slightly shaken. “You are killing me here.”

The visible effect her little revelation had on him made Cassia feel desired like she had never felt before and with a coy smile she looked up at him. “Maybe I had an ulterior motive too,” she said playfully. “Maybe I wanted to make sure _you_ would say yes to a second date as well.”

“You are not playing fair,” he murmured against the skin of her neck and Cassia chuckled.

“Says the man who got me a private ballroom for our first date?” The end of her sentence turned into a low moan as she felt Cullen nip at a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. “All I did was leave two small pieces of clothing at home. Not really comparable.”

Cullen was back to looking at her. “Two?” he asked. “You are telling me this dress is actually the only thing you are wearing right now?” There was a fire in his eyes that only seemed to get more intense as Cassia nodded in affirmation. What happened next happened almost too fast for her to catch on, but Cullen’s hands were firmly on her hips as he moved them and a moment later, she found herself trapped between him and a marble column. Stuck between the hard stone and his bulk she could to nothing but hold on to him as he kissed her like he wanted to devour her. 

“This is really not a suitable place for what I want to do with you right now,” he sounded slightly frustrated as he managed to pull himself away from her mouth again. Cassia sighed.

“I know.” She definitely shared his frustration about that. “Something to look forward to for our second date then,” she said softly. Cullen smiled at her.

“Definitely!” For a brief moment she thought that he would draw back further, trying to let them both gain back some composure but then there was a glint of something else in his eyes. “Doesn’t mean we have to leave here entirely worked up though.” 

Cassia was just about to ask what he was thinking about when he grabbed the skirt of her dress, pulling it up just enough so he could slip his hand underneath. His fingers trailed up the inside of her leg and Cassia shuddered as he moved closer to her center. His other hand was on her neck, tilting her head so she had no choice but to look directly into his eyes.

“I bet you look absolutely beautiful when you come,” he said lowly just as his fingers brushed over her. Once, twice, gently teasing her before two of them pushed through her folds and into her wet heat. Cassia instinctively strained her neck, trying to kiss him again but his hand held her in place, his eyes never leaving her as he easily added a third finger and his thumb found the centre of her pleasure and started circling it gently. She felt her eyes fall shut as a loud moan left her.

“Open your eyes!” Cullen’s voice was rough and her eyes flew open again. “I want to watch you fall apart,” he murmured and Cassia felt herself starting to tremble under his ministrations. His fingers pushing in and out of her feeling just right as he curled them perfectly, his thumb never letting up. 

“Cullen,” Cassia breathed out helplessly as she felt herself getting closer and closer already. Her hands held onto his shoulders, trying to steady herself against the sensations that shook through her body. The intensity of his gaze was almost unbearable. “Cullen,” she repeated, as she felt him go faster. “I need… please!”

“Yes,” Cullen encouraged her, the rumble in his voice sending sparks of heat down her back. “Come for me. Show me.” His eyes were dark with lust as he twisted his fingers just so and Cassia saw stars, forcing herself to keep her eyes wide open as she felt something in her snap and she let out a desperate noise, pleasure surging through her entire body. Cullen didn’t let up until the last bits of it had ebbed off. Only then did he take his hand away, letting her dress fall down again. “As I thought,” he murmured. “Absolutely beautiful!” He was still holding her gaze as he brought his hand up to his mouth, tasting her on his fingers and letting out another soft moan. “I can’t wait to get you into an actual bed.”

Cassia shuddered under his intensity, unable to look away even for a second. A sudden idea had her smile. “Me neither,” she agreed before taking a deep breath. “But I don’t think I’m going to wait until I get _you_ into one.” Before he could say anything she pushed herself off the column. Holding onto the lapels of his jacket she turned them both around, her hands already busy with his pants before he had caught on. 

“Cassia, there is no need for you to…” he started, but the end of his sentence was lost to a moan as she had undone his pants just enough to pull his length out.

“Don’t you dare,” she chided playfully. “You don’t get to play the gentleman _now_ , not after what you just did.” She started stroking him experimentally, watching his face twisted in pleasure as she moved her wrist. “I’ll even be generous and let you close your eyes,” she teased him. “That is if you want to miss the show.”

His half closed eyes flew open, watching her every move as she sank down until she could run her tongue over the tip of his length. She could feel him shudder under her touch and it sent a rush of excitement through her as she closed her lips around him, guiding him into her mouth. 

“Cassia…” he groaned as she started to move her head, sucking and twisting her hand in tandem. One of his hands suddenly was in her hair, gently tugging, guiding her into just the right rhythm. The soft noises of encouragement she made whenever his hold on her hair got a little tighter got almost drowned out by the music that still filled the room around them. But when she looked up at him she saw that he had heard them. There was a hint of a smirk on his face just before he tightened his grip, giving her hair a much harder pull and Cassia moaned around his length. She could feel him struggling not to push into her mouth too harshly as she picked up the speed.

“Cassia…” he moaned again, his breath coming out in harsh bursts. “I’m close, you might wanna…” He couldn’t finish his sentence as she doubled down, leaving him no chance to say anything more before his hips started stuttering and with a shout of her name he spilled himself into her mouth.

The sight of Cullen being completely breathless because of her had her smile widely as she got back up and gently tugged him into his clothes again. His hands flew to help her, buttoning his pants up again before they engulfed her, holding her tightly against him. For a moment he just held her close before he bent down to kiss her again. This time it felt more like their very first kiss again. Soft, unhurried but with an underlying sensation of beginning familiarity and Cassia sighed softly into the kiss, getting lost in the simple sensation of being held. 

She had no idea how long they were standing like this, just enjoying each other’s closeness. One of his hands was drawing lazy patterns onto her back and Cassia leaned into his touch. “This is not at all how I pictured tonight to go,” she confessed quietly. She felt Cullen’s chuckle against her.

“Are you complaining?” he asked and Cassia vehemently shook her head. 

“Not at all! On the contrary really, this just might have been the absolute best date I’ve ever been on.” When she drew back to look up at him there was something in his eyes she couldn’t place. He looked at her for a moment before he smiled at her.

“I can relate,” he said with a half smile on his face. “I am cursing the fact that I have to go away for a few days right now.” 

Cassia silently agreed with that. But then again, it was what it was and they had made plans for when he would be back already. “At least you have something to look forward to,” she said with a knowing smile and Cullen grinned back at her. 

“Definitely!” With a glance onto his watch he checked the time. Cassia could see that it was already much later than she had thought it would be. “How about I’ll take you home for tonight before anyone comes for a nightly security check and finds us here.” 

Cassia nodded, almost out of reflex waiting to take his arm again like before but Cullen had already put his arm around her shoulder, holding her close to him as they walked to the exit of the ballroom. At the door, he turned off the music and the lights again, and when Cassia looked back over her shoulder, the now dark and quiet room looked almost unassuming. Not a trace left behind of the overwhelming mood and tension that had been there up until only a few moments ago. Except for what remained on her mind, still occupying her thoughts, putting a smile on her face as they walked back through the quiet, dark hallways.

When he brought her home they made the driver wait for almost half an hour with how long the goodbye kiss at her doorstep took and when Cassia was finally inside her own flat, alone, watching the lights of his departing car reflected in the window, she was still smiling.


	6. No Easy Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a brief talk about an assault a few years back.

The next morning Cassia woke up to a couple of missed messages on her phone. Aveline asking her to come into the precinct as soon as possible had Cassia reluctantly get up and out of her bed. This was supposed to be her free day after all, but if Aveline wanted her to come in instead of simply calling her, the police captain probably has something important for her. She scrolled through her other messages as she made herself some coffee. Merrill wanting to know how her evening went. Adriene asking pretty much the same thing. The newest message from her sister said she would pick her up on her way to Aveline. A quick glance at the time told Cassia that she probably had about half an hour to get ready. So much for her plans of doing absolutely nothing today. 

After she had gotten ready, she sent Cullen a brief text, wishing him a good morning and asking how his flight went, and she was in the process of texting Merrill about last night when Adriene picked her up as planned. 

“So, do you know why we are supposed to come in?” Cassia asked as they walked down the busy street. 

Adriene shrugged, nipping on her still steaming take-away coffee. “Nope, no idea. She just said we should both be there.” 

“Maybe there is a new lead…” Cassia speculated. Or maybe it was the opposite, and Aveline was going to tell them that they were wasting their time and should just pack up and go home.

“We’ll know when we get there,” her sister said, her tone deliberately neutral. Cassia suspected that Adriene didn’t want to get her hopes up only to be disappointed again and she couldn’t blame her for that. 

“But enough about that,” Adriene suddenly said. “Tell me all about how your date went!”

With a wide grin, Cassia started to fill her in about what had happened the night before, from the moment she hadn’t known what to wear up until the point where they had danced for hours. Carefully, she left out a few details, everything she really didn’t want to admit to having already done on a first date. 

“What the hell, Cassia…” Adriene shook her head in disbelief. “How do you never go out, barely ever meet anyone new and then, just like that, manage to find someone who takes you on the absolute perfect date?” She laughed, grinning widely at Cassia. “Tell me you are planning on seeing him again.”

Cassia nodded, grinning widely. “Of course. He is going to cook me dinner once he is back from his work trip.”

She was still in the middle of gushing about the last evening when the police building came into view. After a quick stop at the security check-in, they both had  visitor passes hanging from their necks as they walked up to where Aveline had her office. The moment they stepped inside, Cassia knew that whatever Aveline had asked them here for, it was definitely not good. The other woman looked stressed out. Her hair was almost coming loose from her ponytail and her face was tense as she greeted them. 

“Alright, so what is going on?” Adriene’s question came as soon as they had set down. She sounded worried, having noticed the same things her sister had.

Aveline looked like she was about to say something but stopped herself. She looked back and forth between them and something in her restless behavior was starting to make Cassia anxious. Aveline took a deep breath before fixing her eyes on Cassia.

“Look, there is no easy way to say this but…” with a side glance to Adriene she sighed. “Cass, your sister asked the department to run a background check on that guy you are seeing.”

“Oh come on, Ave,” Adriene interjected. “That was supposed to stay between us! Just a routine check. Did you really need to tell her that?”

“I’d say,” Cassia murmured before turning to Adriene. “Again? We  _ talked  _ about this after last time!” Cassia loved her sister to pieces, but Adriene’s almost paranoia when it came to making sure no one who could harm Cassia ever even came into her vicinity had a tendency to be just on the side of too much. 

“Ladies,” Aveline’s sharper voice cut through them, making them both look back at her. “This isn’t about how I think you should tell your sister if you are doing that,” she said to Adriene. “Even though I  _ do _ think that! This is about what I found.”

Cassia was starting to feel slightly uneasy. Found? There was something to find? Maybe it was something minor. Something way in the past. The look on Aveline’s face told her that she was kidding herself.

“As I said, there is no easy way to say this so…” Aveline pulled out a file from a pile on her desk, handing it to her. “You need to see this for yourself.”

The uneasy feeling in her stomach got stronger as Cassia took the file. It was thin. That had to be a good thing, right? But the fact that the police had a file with Cullen’s name on it in the first place didn’t bode well. Adriene shifted next to her, moving her chair so she could look over her sister’s shoulder as Cassia opened it. 

“There is not that much in there?” Adriene asked immediately, sounding confused.

“That’s because we know next to nothing about this man,” Aveline replied grimly. “A few official addresses that are clean and a couple of shell companies we can’t prove are fake. But what we do know about Cullen Rutherford is his occupation.”

Cassia found herself unable to look up. She could barely even listen to the other two as her eyes were glued to the tiny shred of information that practically screamed at he.

“This must be wrong,” she said quietly. “You must be mistaken!”

“About what?” Adriene asked, shifting closer so she could find what her sister was talking about. 

“We are not wrong,” Aveline said with a hint of regret in her voice. “We don’t know much about him because he keeps his image clean, but what we are certain of is that he  _ is _ the second-in-command of the Order, Meredith Stannard’s right-hand man.”

Aveline’s words didn’t make it any easier for Cassia to accept what she had just learned. He was a club owner. Just a nice guy who had been… very well off by any standards, really, Cassia realized as she thought back to last night. A private town car and driver, connections, the way he had made things possible that sounded absurd to pull off… There had been signs before that he was at least more than he appeared, but never in a million years would Cassia have suspected anything like  _ this _ . 

“Holy shit,” Adriene cursed next to her, looking almost as distressed as Cassia herself felt.

“You said you don’t have much on him,” Cassia asked Aveline. “Is there a chance that maybe…” She trailed off, not sure what she actually wanted to ask. That he maybe wasn’t as bad as one would assume based on his position? As if there was even the slightest chance that he got to be in the leadership of an organization like the Order by accident. 

“There is nothing we could ever stick on him, nothing that would hold up in court, but that doesn’t mean we don’t know about a lot of the things he and the Order are involved in.” Aveline sounded almost apologetic as she voiced out loud what Cassia already knew. “They have fingers in every major smuggling operation in the city, white-collar crime, extortion, bribery… you name it. The only upside I can tell you is that, as you know, the Order is at least not a physically violent organization. No outright murder, no shootings, no torture, no gang violence and so on. But other than that…”

There was a moment of quiet as Cassia’s eyes went back to the file. What was she supposed to do now? Only half an hour ago, she had felt like her life had never been better. Now it suddenly felt like the opposite.

“Alright,” Adriene suddenly cut through the silence. “Damage control!” She looked at Cassia. “He knows your name and where you live so we need to get you a new ID and a new flat. Maybe check into a hotel under another name for now?” 

Cassia blinked, trying to follow her sister’s fast-paced speech. 

“Aveline, can we get police protection for Cassia until we get everything ready? We need to think about…” Adriene paused for a moment, looking at Cassia with worried eyes. “Maybe we should pull you off this case entirely, get you out of the city. That would probably be the safest way.”

Cassia didn’t know what to say to all of that. She knew what her sister said made sense in theory, but at the moment everything felt just too much, too big for her to have a clear head about it.

“Adriene,” Aveline interrupted her sister’s planning. “Think carefully about this! There is another option that we shouldn’t ignore.”

Cassia felt a bit like she was watching a movie. Something that she just looked into from an outsider’s perspective and had no part in herself as she saw Adriene going tense.

“No!” her sister simply snapped but Aveline didn’t let up.

“We have tried everything. You and your team have tried every possible angle and so far you have come up with absolutely nothing. This…”

“This would put my sister in danger!” Adriene shot back. “There are other ways!”

Aveline shook her head. “Are there really? You know your boss has contacted mine, asking for an official evaluation about the merit of having your team in this city?”

From Adriene’s shocked expression, it was obvious that she hadn’t known about this so far. 

“Listen,” Aveline went on. “I don’t like this any more than you, but this is a chance. Provided that we can assume he likes her enough to keep seeing her?”

Everything felt somewhat surreal to Cassia as they kept talking about Cullen and their situation as if she herself wasn’t even present. 

“I am not going to pimp out my own sister to some crime boss so that she can do what? Get some sensitive information over pillow talk? No way!” Adriene said forcefully.

“I’m not suggesting she should sleep with him for information,” Aveline tried to reason. “But if he likes her, he might let something slip. Tell her things or take her places where she could see or hear something useful.”

Adriene only scoffed. “Come on, Aveline, you think he is interested in her because he wants to sip tea and hold hands?” Her sister looked on the brink of getting angry. “Sleeping with him for information would be exactly where this would end, and I’m telling you: No way!” Adriene was back to looking over Cassia’s shoulder, reading some more of the file. “They might not outright murder people on the streets but the do make them disspear nonetheless. If this is all accurate,” she pointed out, “we’d be sending my sister right into the bed of one of the most dangerous people in the city, Aveline!”

One of the most dangerous people in the city… The words went through Cassia like a knife. Adriene was absolutely right, everything involving him would be ridiculously dangerous. Cassia started shaking slightly at the realization that it already had been that way the entire time, she just hadn’t known about it. And because she hadn’t, it had felt like the opposite actually. He had saved her from that weird stranger at the club. Had stayed with her. She had felt absolutely and completely safe with him. All while… She closed her eyes for a brief moment, trying to hold it together and fight against the treacherous burning in them. No. She would not cry. She refused to. Not in front of anyone else at least.

“Aveline does have a point,” she said tonelessly, and just like that, the other two women seemed to remember that she was still in the room. 

“Cass…” Adriene deflated a bit, looking at her with so much concern that Cassia had to focus on Aveline instead if she wanted to keep herself from shaking again. 

“You know she does, Adriene,” she added, not looking at her sister, finding Aveline’s eyes instead. “But I have to be honest, I don’t know if I can do anything like you are suggesting. I don’t have the training. I don’t have the experience…”  _ ‘And I might not have the conviction’  _ her head added quietly. 

Aveline’s eyes were full of understanding but her pragmatism took over almost immediately. “We can do our best to prepare you. We know he is out of town for now, so we have a couple of days for that after all, at least until he comes back.”

“I hate this!” Adriene sounded helpless and frustrated. 

“Do you want me to put this down on the record?” Aveline asked and Adriene immediately shook her head.

“If we have me on file arguing against the only real lead we’ve had in months, I can kiss my job goodbye right now,” she huffed angrily. “ I see your point, doesn’t mean I have to like it!”

“Me neither,” Cassia murmured before she stood up. “Aveline, I’m still not sure if I can do this, but right now? I want to go home. I need to be alone for a while.”

“Of course,” the other woman nodded. “I’ll contact you later with more concise ideas.”

Adriene stood up with her, already grabbing her bag. “Give her a day at least, alright?” she said before her comforting arm was around Cassia’s shoulders. “Come on, I’ll take you home!”

_

Cassia’s head had been alternating between running in circles and feeling blissfully empty ever since she had left Aveline’s office. Adriene had taken her home and stayed with her for a little while before she had to go and do some work, telling Cassia to take a few days off. Since her sister had left, Cassia had done nothing but sitting around and staring out of the window while her tea kept getting cold in her hands. There had been a message on her phone. From Cullen. A short answer to the text she had sent earlier in the morning.

_ ‘Flight was fine. Arrived right to a work crisis. _ _  
_ _ I’ll call you once everything dies down.’ _

She had stared at the message for far too long. Her mind was busy with going through every interaction they had, over and over again. From the first time she saw him in the club to the goodnight kiss he had given her only yesterday. Sure, she had noticed some things that stood out about him, but nothing that had really hinted at him being a criminal.  _ Dangerous, _ Adriene had said. 

Cassia had consumed every bit of information they had about the Order in the past few months. Most of it wasn’t too detailed, but it spoke of a larger picture that was more that just concerning. That he was at the top of that just didn’t fit at all with the man she had gotten to know. He had seemed so open, straight forward, funny even. And most of all, he had been nothing but kind and generous around her. Had all of that been an act? A role he played when he wasn’t busy doing whatever he was probably doing right now? Cassia couldn’t wrap her mind around it.

She was torn from her thoughts when her phone started ringing and Cassia let out a sigh of relief as she saw the familiar name of her friend.

“Calling to check on me?” she asked without even saying hello as she picked up.

“You bet,” came Merrill’s voice from the speaker, a moment later, her face appeared on the camera. “I heard from your sister what happened. How are you doing?”

Cassia shrugged, setting the phone up against the windowsill. “Not good.”

“Thought as much. Do you wanna talk?” She appreciated that Merrill was actually asking her instead of just assuming, but Cassia wasn’t sure if she actually wanted to.

“What is there to say? I thought I had met someone pretty amazing and it turns out I am just really bad at that people thing,” she said grimly, the weird mood that had been with her since her talk with Aveline finally catching up with her.

Merrill shook her head. “Come on, Cassia, that’s nonsense. You couldn’t have known!”

“I know. Doesn’t make me feel less awful.” Cassia felt that if there had been clear hints, clear signs she had just overlooked, at least she could have been angry at herself. Mad about being careless. It would beat the feeling of overwhelming sadness that was now there instead.

“So, Adriene also mentioned Aveline’s plan and that you are considering it?” Merrill asked, sounding skeptical. “How would that even work? Supposedly I mean? You just keep seeing him and hope he lets something slip? Sounds like a rather flimsy plan to me.”

“Something like that,” Cassia murmured. Merill gave her a knowing look.

“You don’t want to do it, do you?”

Cassia was already shaking her head. “I don’t know if I can. But I feel like I have to?” She sighed. “Adriene has worked too long on this. We all have, but mostly her. There is so much at stake.”

“Cassia,” Merrill said with a bit more force behind as usual. “You are not responsible for your sister’s career or her work. And I’m pretty sure Adriene would back me up on this!”

And there it was. The point where her friend was only partly right. “I know I am not responsible,” Cassia answered. “Doesn’t mean that I am not the reason for our current situation.”

She could see Merrill’s eyebrows go up. “Ok, explain!”

For a second, Cassia hesitated. Only Adriene and she knew about this, after all. But then again, Merrill had become her best friend apart from her sister and she also worked with them. If anyone should know about this, it would probably be her. 

“It’s a longer story,” Cassia started. “Back when we were still studying, after we both went through the recruitment program, there was this guy I went out with a couple of times.”

“Ok, that was years ago, then,” Merrill interjected. “Longer story indeed.” 

Cassia only shrugged. “I warned you! So, Owen was in the same program we were and he was… alright, I guess?” She knew how that sounded but Cassia didn’t have a better description for him after all.

“That doesn’t sound like an endorsement to go out with someone…” Merrill voiced her thoughts.

“You know me, I am not a very outgoing person,” Cassia said, ignoring the little snort she heard through the phone speaker as she went on. “And I kept mostly to myself. Everyone kept telling me I should get out more, meet people so when he asked me out, I thought it would be a good opportunity.” She remembered all too well the feeling of being worn down by everyone’s expectations. “We went out a couple of times, but there was just nothing there between us. At least not from my side.”

Merrill looked like she already had an idea where this was going. “There was from his side though, I guess?”

“Mhm,” Cassia hummed in affirmation. “When I noticed that I simply wasn’t interested in him, I just went and told him. He… didn’t take it well.”

“I was afraid it would go there,” her friend said quietly, and Cassia swallowed before telling her what had happened next.

“He decided he just had to convince me. First by sending me all sorts of letters and small gifts. When that didn’t work, he got… more physical.” It had been so many years ago, but Cassia still couldn’t stop the feeling of a cold shiver running down her back when she thought back to it. “One day he waited for me after one of my classes and before I knew what was happening I was in a supply closet with his tongue in my mouth and his hand in my pants. I panicked, bit him and when he let go of me, I pushed him away and ran.” 

Merrill didn’t say anything, didn’t interrupt her, but her eyes were full of sympathy.  

“After that, he became even worse. He was everywhere. Always waiting for me somewhere, always watching me. I was scared of even trying to go to class. I tried reporting him…” Another sigh left her as she remembered how useless that had been. How helpless she had felt. “But it didn’t do anything, I had no proof.” She had gone every official way she could think off, and none of them had lead to anyone helping her. “One evening, after a day that had been extra bad, I told Adriene about all of it, because I was terrified of going back home to my dorm room alone.”

That caused Merrill to speak up again. “You hadn’t told her before?” she asked, a hint of confusion in her voice. “Why not? You two are usually joined at the hip!”

“Stupid, right?” Cassia admitted. “But I felt so humiliated. And weak somehow because I didn’t manage to stand my ground against one single person.” There had been no good reason for her to keep this from Adriene and yet she had held out a couple of weeks. “Adriene brought me home that night and it was exactly as I feared, he was waiting for me in front of my door.”

“But Adriene was with you!” Merrill sounded relieved somehow and Cassia had to smile. Everything she was telling her friend had happened years ago, but Merrill was still feeling for her just as intensely as if it were happening right now.

“She was, but he hadn’t realized at first and said something pretty crude to me before he saw her,” Cassia went on. “Adriene was just so furious… She jumped at him, punched him right in the face. Twice actually.” 

“Go Adriene!” Merrill murmured dryly before looking at Cassia apologetically. “Sorry, not the point, I know! Did it help?”

Cassia chuckled at Merrill’s enthusiasm. “Me? Yes, it helped. He left me alone after that. You know Adriene, she doesn’t hold back when she throws a punch. Broke both his nose and one of his cheekbones.” She could see a satisfied grin spread over her friend’s face. “And Owen couldn’t really report her, or he would have had to explain what he had been doing in front of my dorm in the middle of the night.” It hadn’t stayed this simple though. “He missed out on quite a bit of coursework, and in the end, Adriene graduated top of our class, and he wasn’t even in the top three. He absolutely hated her for that.”

“Oh no,” Merril sounded worried again. “Let me guess, you and Adriene met him again, later on?”

“You could say that,” Cassia said dryly. “You’ve met him too. He signs your paycheck.”

“No!” Merrill breathed out. “Oswald? Owen Oswald… Our boss is your campus creep?”

Cassia nodded solemnly. “That’s a fitting nickname if I ever heard one.” She could see the questions on Merrill’s face and tried to elaborate. “Adriene went into field work and was brilliant at it, Owen went into the administrative branch and had a steep career. Cue about one year ago, when they restructured some teams, and he became our boss.” It had been more than awkward and very quickly turned into outright hostility. “Ever since then, he has been trying to get back at her. He tried to transfer me off the team, but Adriene went over his head to his boss and stopped that,” she started listing the things that had happened since then. “A couple of months later, he had to approve my budget plan even though he really didn’t want to. That didn’t help either, and now he put us on an impossible mission that will most likely severely damage Adriene’s track record and her career…”

“Fuck!” Merrill let out. “I’m so sorry! I never swear but this is…”  She shook her head. “Still, Cassia, he has been awful and your sister reacted. It’s still not your fault that you are in this situation now.” The look she gave Cassia was intense, trying to make sure she got her point. “It sucks, but you didn’t do anything wrong!”

“I know that,” Cassia assured her. But not doing anything wrong hadn’t helped one bit to keep all this from happening in the end. “But the fact remains that Adriene wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me… And it's not just Adriene’s job. It’s the entire team.” There were more people to think of than just herself and her sister after all. “There are rumors that he is going to reassign everyone, break the team up if this mission fails.”

Merrill was quiet for a moment. Cassia was about to check whether the connection was still ok when her voice came again. “Ok, I see where you are coming from. What a messed-up situation,” she said quietly.

“I know,” Cassia agreed. There were several levels of messed-up to her situation, and she didn’t know which one she should focus on first. “Merrill, I don’t know what to do…” she confessed. “I can’t leave Adriene hanging but I don’t think I can do this either.”

“You’re afraid Cullen will see right through you? That you’ll give yourself away?” There was nothing but understanding on Merril’s face. “That’s reasonable. Who knows what he might do if he catches you. I’ve read as much about this group as you have, this seems dangerous.”

Cassia felt as if there was something stuck in her throat as she slowly shook her head. She could understand why Merrill’s thoughts went that way but they weren’t at all similar to her own. “That’s not… I’m not afraid of him, Merrill,” she shook her head.

Merrill looked surprised. “You’re not?”

“That’s the problem,” Cassia muttered. “Or a problem at least. I am not afraid of Cullen and it messes me up.”

“I’m afraid I don’t really get it,” Merrill said with an apologetic look. 

Cassia wasn’t sure if she could explain this to her friend. She wasn’t even sure that it made sense in the first place. Everything about it felt confusing. She tried anyway. “After Owen? I went out even less than before. And never on dates. I shut myself completely off from that part of social life,” she explained. “Not directly after. I tried a few times but every single time I met someone and they seemed interested, I got uncomfortable. They started scaring me, and eventually I just… stopped.”

She could see the understanding well up in Merrill’s eyes. “You’re not afraid of Cullen…” she repeated Cassia’s earlier statement with raised eyebrows and a skeptical look.

Cassia let out a dry laugh. “The irony is ridiculous, isn’t it?”

“A bit!” Merrill agreed.

She wasn’t sure how to even put it into words. “I don’t know what it is about him, but he actually made me feel safe. And the thought of just going up to him and start lying into his face is… I don’t know if that is something I can do.”

“Damn, I wish I was on a break already,” Merrill said, sounding regretful. “You look in desperate need of a hug!” 

“It helps that I know I can talk to someone, it really does,” Cassia assured her, trying to not get too emotional. If she started crying now, she wasn’t sure if she would be able to stop anytime soon. Merrill seems to sense her mood.

“Cassia, I am so sorry. Sorry that all that shit has happened to you and about everything that is happening now. I wish I could help more.” 

“Thank you!” Cassia said quietly. “As I said, it means a lot already that you listen to me.”

Merrill smiled at her. “Always! And I promise you: Whatever you want to do, I’m gonna be completely in your corner. I have your back, ok?”

“I love you, Merrill!” Cassia felt a surge of emotions run through her. She hadn't even known the other woman for that long, a little bit over a year perhaps, and yet she had quickly become the best friend Cassia could ask for. 

“Love you too!” Merrill grinned at her before something off-screen caught her attention. “Listen, I have to get back to work, but I’ll come by in the evening and I’ll bring Adriene and lots of ice cream!”

Cassia doubted that it would help the situation in any way, but the fact alone that Merrill was trying so hard to help her get through this made her feel a bit better already. “That sounds like a plan!” she agreed and when Merrill had hung up, everything felt at least a little less bleak. 


	7. Would You?

A couple of days later, Cassia still felt no better about the situation. Despite Adriene’s protests, Aveline had started making some preliminary plans on how Cassia could go about this. Officially, nothing was decided yet, but Cassia knew that the time she had to think about this was running out quickly. Aveline’s plan was simple so far. Her suggestion had been to take things very slow. Cassia would meet with Cullen like they had planned and not do anything at all different from what she would have done if she hadn’t known about any of this. For now, she would just be supposed to get to know him better. Meet with him a couple more times and then slowly, subtly try to learn more about his involvement in the Order. Aveline had talked about potentially even gaining access to one of their meetings if she kept this going long enough, a suggestion that had Adriene frown and protest again.

On paper, it didn’t sound impossible to do. Even for someone like Cassia, who had only taken the most basic field agent education there was. If she put aside her emotions and looked at the plan objectively, she thought she might even be able to do this. But that technique never lasted very long. If the same plan would revolve around someone else, someone Cassia had no connections with, it would have been an easier decision. Then again, if that were the case, they wouldn’t actually need her to do anything, they could have just sent Adriene in the first place.

No, Cassia didn’t get to pick and choose the ideal circumstances under which she would try her hand at a field mission for the first time. The deck had been dealt, and as much hope as Aveline was already putting onto the possibility of this mission, Cassia felt that the cards were definitely not in her favour. How was she supposed to choose which person she should disappoint and let down more? Deep inside her, she knew the answer. Adriene had stood by her their entire life. Had been with her through everything. She had been there when their parents died. She had held Cassia through her first heartbreak. She had been right next to her, having her back all through university. In the end, Cassia could see no scenario where she would actively decide not to do the same for her sister. 

Perhaps she should speak with Aveline again on the morning. Cassia had done as Adriene had advised and taken a few days off to think about the whole situation, but with only three days left until she would be forced to make a decision, it was perhaps time to stop hiding away. Just when she was about to turn off her phone for the night, the display lit up and it started ringing. Cassia stared at it for a good few seconds as the name on the display sank in. Cullen. He was calling her.

She hadn’t heard from him much in the last few days. Nothing but the occasional friendly text after he told her about having some work crisis, and Cassia had spent a lot of energy on trying her best to not speculate about the many things he could have meant by that. But now he was calling her. Should she pick up? Cassia wasn’t sure she could get through a conversation with him like everything was normal. She could pretend to be asleep already and simply ignore her phone. She felt like a coward for even thinking that. How was she supposed to face him in a few days if she was worried about a simple phone call already? Resolutely, she pushed her worries aside and picked up the phone, trying to sound as normal as possible as she greeted him.

“Cassia,” came his apologetic sounding voice. “I’m so sorry that I’m only calling now. There was a lot going on.”

A lot going on. If that didn’t describe her week so far perfectly. “It’s alright,” she answered. “I had a lot going on here as well.” Despite her best efforts, she sounded just a bit shaky. Cullen immediately seemed to pick up on that. 

“You sound… not quite as upbeat as you usually do. Everything alright?”

Damn him and the way he sounded so genuinely concerned for her. Cassia cursed inwardly. She had thought before that this would be hard, but that had been an understatement. Cassia tried to push all thoughts about Adriene and the agency away for the moment, just focusing on having a normal phone call with a person she had been looking forward to hearing from again.

“Yes, everything is alright,” she said a bit more calm, “Just… same as you. A lot of stress at work.” That sounded better already. “Was your work trouble resolved at least?”

“Not exactly.” He sounded a bit hesitant before he continued, “But I did what I could to deal with it, and now I’ll have to wait and see how it goes. I’m taking the evening off right now.”

Whatever his work problem was, it seemed to be something bigger and Cassia could practically hear Aveline in her mind, nudging her to ask another innocuous question about it. She should, shouldn’t she? But something in the back of the conversation grabbed her attention instead. 

“What is that noise in the background?” Cassia asked curiously. Static? The connection was good and she couldn’t pinpoint it.

“Noise?” Cullen asked, sounding confused before apparently understanding what she had meant. “Probably the waves,” he explained. 

“You’re at a beach?” Now that he had said it she could recognize the sounds.

“At a very pretty one actually, there is hardly anyone here, sun just went down…” She heard him let out what sounded like a content sigh. “Very peaceful, I think you would like it.”

Cassia was smiling at his description. “I definitely would,” she agreed. “As a kid my parents had this beach house we rented every summer. There is nothing better than having the ocean right in front of you. You feel like you can just leave everything behind you and wander off to see where you might end up.”

Cassia was close to getting lost in fond memories as she heard Cullen chuckle at the other end of the line

“I hope that scenario includes a boat.” He sounded amused. “Because if you are just wandering aimlessly into the ocean, there’s no way I’m ever going to take you to a beach!”

She shouldn’t encourage any of this. Cassia was acutely aware of the fact that if Adriene would be listening to this conversation, she would give her a piece of her mind. And yet, part of her seemed to have no problem in ignoring all those rational thoughts. 

“You would want to take me to a beach?” she heard herself say before she could stop herself.

“I would send a private plane and pick you up right now if I didn’t have to work,” Cullen answered immediately. “In fact I have half a mind to just ditch work and do it anyway.”

“You are not serious…” With anyone else, she would have just laughed this up as a joke, but given how their first date went, she wasn’t certain she could simply assume these things with him.

“I could be…” came is absolutely serious sounding reply.

“Oh…” Cassia drew in a sharp breath. 

“You sound surprised at that.” 

“I… it’s just…” Cassia swallowed, not sure if she was impressed or annoyed by the way he managed to sound like she was the one being weird about this and not him. “We’ve been on one date. Maybe two if we count lunch,” she pointed out.

“I’m sorry,” came his voice, sounding immediately apologetic. “I go overboard sometimes, I know. Do you want me to back off? Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No!” Cassia had already answered before giving it a second thought. “Not uncomfortable.” Immediately, she wondered why on earth she had just said no when it had been a prime opportunity for her to step on the breaks without having to make up an elaborate reason for it. He was very forward. It would not be unreasonable for her to feel at least a little uncomfortable. 

She  _ should _ be uncomfortable by this after all, but her first reaction had been true, she absolutely wasn’t. “Just… a bit overwhelmed?” she added, and like before, this too was the truth.

“Overwhelmed could mean a bad or a good thing...” Cullen said carefully, and Cassia definitely appreciated him giving her yet another direct opening to tell him to back off if she wanted him to. 

Her problem was that she really didn’t want him to.

Maybe it was time to admit, at least to herself, that she enjoyed the way he kept throwing her off guard far too much to tell him to stop. 

“It is not a bad thing,” she finally said. “It’s just not something I’m used to?”

Cullen hummed in understanding. “This beach would be nicer with you here,” he slid right back to the point that had started the whole thing and Cassia chuckled. 

“At least Friday is not that long off anymore,” she pointed out. Apparently she had just made the decision that their planned next date was definitely still going to happen in some form. It seemed that talking to him made things both more complicated and somehow incredibly easy on some level.

“Very true,” Cullen agreed. “I’ve been making plans for Friday whenever I could get away with not paying too much attention to a meeting.”

“Oh? Tell me about your plans.” Cassia couldn’t help her curiosity.

“They were mostly about dinner,” he said with a small laugh. “Well, there may have been some other thoughts.” His voice sounded just a little bit deeper now. “But that would be a decidedly different phone call.”

“A different call?” Cassia couldn’t completely follow his meaning but she immediately felt the blood rush into her face as he explained.

“You know, the one that starts with  _ ‘What are you wearing’. _ ..”

“Cullen!”

“I think I can almost hear you blushing,” he said, and Cassia in turn felt like she could almost hear the grin he most likely had on his face. “Now I actually want to know. What  _ are _ you wearing?” he murmured into the phone and Cassia briefly thought about telling him something ridiculous before she remembered the way he had looked at her during their date. Specifically when he had figured out what she had and had not been wearing and she felt a shiver of excitement run down her back.

“A shirt,” she said plainly. “I was just getting ready for bed.”

“Just a shirt?” came his question almost immediately and Cassia grinned to herself. Two could definitely play these games. 

“I don’t wear clothes to bed,” she said nonchalantly. “But my flat is kinda cold today, so at least until I’m under my covers…”

She thought she heard a small groan before he spoke. “Cassia, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

“I’m starting to get one…” Cassia mumbled more to herself than into the phone. This whole conversation was close to seriously getting out of hand, but she couldn’t deny that there was something exhilarating in knowing that she had such an effect on him. “To be fair, you asked…”

“I did, and I would just love to ask a lot more right now, but even though there aren’t many people around, I am far from alone here,” Cullen said slowly. Did his voice sound just a bit raspier than before? Cassia couldn’t tell if it did or if it was just the phone connection. “But I’m definitely keeping this in mind for the future.”

“If you’re back in the city, there are much more convenient ways though…” Cassia couldn’t stop herself from teasing him just a bit more. The low rumble of laughter he let out sent a shiver through her.

“Ah, but there is something to be said for just hearing each other’s voice and nothing more.” 

Briefly, she thought back to their date, how he had whispered things into her ear that had made her face blush and her knees threaten to give out. Up until now, Cassia had never really gotten the appeal of it, but the way Cullen kept talking to her made her think that there was something to it after all. Then again, the way he had looked at her all through the date had definitely played another part.

“Perhaps,” she agreed finally. “Though there is also something to be said for being able to watch.”

“Good point,” Cullen murmured. He was speaking softly now and Cassia was well aware that he was making sure no one around him overheard his side of their conversation. The lack of privacy didn’t seem to be a complete dealbreaker to him and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that yet. Not entirely negative at least. 

”Would you let me watch you then?” he suddenly asked, his voice in her ear pulling her out of those thoughts.

“Cullen!” she breathed out, trying her best to not sound too flustered. “I thought this wasn’t supposed to be  _ that _ kind of call…”

“It’s not,” Cullen chuckled lightly, but there was something in his voice that told her he was definitely not joking. Not completely at least. “Just planning ahead. So, would you?”

Would she? Cassia had never thought about this before, but now, her head started to fill with thoughts and images of Cullen watching her, his eyes following her every move, maybe talking to her in that delightful way that made her stomach flutter during it. Cassia’s eyes had fallen shut for a second, flying wide open again as she swallowed. Her voice was raspy as she answered, “I would let you.” 

“That’s certainly a thought to keep in mind then.” He sounded both excited and very satisfied at the same time. “I should probably hang up and let you sleep, before we reach a point where I don’t care about my current location anymore,” he admitted, and Cassia took a deep breath, trying to shake the earlier intensity off and sound more lighthearted.

“I guess there are downsides to being at the beach then…”

A small laugh was her answer. “When you put it that way, there definitely are,” Cullen agreed. “It’s also getting late. I hope you can sleep well and I am looking forward to Friday!” 

Friday. For the moment Cassia refused to let any unpleasant thoughts spoil the moment as she agreed with a smile on her face. “So do I! I hope you’ll have a good night as well.” A spark of something devious went through her and with a boldness that she only very rarely possessed, she lowered her own voice. “Good thing I don’t have the downsides of being on a public beach right now.”

“What?” Cullen sounded adorably confused for a moment, and Cassia smiled.

“I’ll leave it to your imagination what I am going to do after hanging up,” Cassia said vaguely, but it was enough to make it obvious to him.

“Cassia,” he sighed, a hint of disbelief in his voice, “you are deliciously evil!”

“See you Friday, Cullen,” she grinned before hanging up.

In the quietness of her flat the upbeat mood from the phone call went away quicker than Cassia would have expected. It was far too easy to ignore the rest of the world when talking to him, but now that his voice was no longer in her ear, reality came crashing down on her again with a vengeance. She still hadn’t made a final decision, but what she had done was confirm their date with him. 

Adriene had suggested that Cassia should leave town, cut all ties and get away from the entire situation as far as it was possible, but as unsure as Cassia was about  _ some _ things, she was certain that  _ that _ was absolutely not going to happen. 

She would go on that date on Friday, one way or another. The only question, the hardest question, she still had to answer was how...


	8. Turning Point

On friday Cassia was a nervous wreck for most of the day. She had held out deciding on what to do for so long, but after almost a week of deliberation, she had agreed to give Aveline’s plan a try. Under several stipulations. Cassia would be extra careful and not do any active reconnaissance for now. She wasn’t trained for that after all. 

Her ‘job’ was simply to get to know him better, to act like she would have done if she hadn’t found out anything about him. If it should lead somewhere, get her some unexpected information, it would be good, but right now, she wasn’t supposed to go actively looking for anything. 

It didn’t stop her from spending the entire car ride questioning herself over and over again. Could she really do this? Or to ask the more important question: Did she really _want_ to do this? She liked Cullen. He had been nothing but charming and warm to her, made her feel special every single moment they had spent together. Granted, given who he was, there was a change that it had all been an act... but what if it hadn’t been? 

It shouldn’t matter if it had been an act or not. There was no way this could go anywhere. Nor should she even entertain any thoughts about ‘what ifs’. Cassia wondered what it said about her that her mind went there anyway. Cassia straightened her shoulders. She had told Aveline she would be able to do this. She had to. It was their first real lead in months after all. 

It didn’t stop her from calling Adriene one more time on her way here, though, confiding her renewed second thoughts to her sister. 

“Adriene, I am nervous,” she confessed to her sister the moment Adriene picked up. “I know I said I think I can do this but…”

“You’re scared?” Adriene asked, voice full of understanding, but Cassia just shook her head.

“No. Yes. But no that is not the reason.” Her sigh was heavy. She knew her sister wouldn’t like that next bit. “I really liked him. And I think he liked me too? I just… I don’t know if I can lie to him. Part of me doesn’t _want_ to lie to him.”

Adriene was quiet for a moment, and Cassia half expected her sister to start telling her off about her absolutely abysmal taste in men before Adriene simply said, “Then don’t.” At Cassia’s confused silence, she continued, “Look, I’ve been against sending you into this from the beginning. I get it! Separating yourself from everything to keep a clear head and not let your emotions influence you? It’s hard! That’s why there is so much training.” Adriene sighed through the phone. “If you want to back out, everyone will understand if you feel like this. You don’t need to prove anything, especially not to me, you know that.”

“I’m already at his place,” Cassia said slowly, “And he is expecting me…”

“Then go in, have a nice evening with the man and just… don’t do any of the stuff I would do,” Adriene said almost cheerfully. “Your choice really and don’t worry, I’ll back you up with Aveline in any case, alright? You know I have your back.”

Adriene made it sound so incredibly easy and Cassia when Cassia hung up she was relieved for a moment. It was true after all. She didn’t have to do anything. No one could actually force her. She could just spend a normal evening with Cullen, go home and tell Aveline that she would have to excuse herself from the case because she was compromised. Her friend would be disappointed, but she would ultimately understand. 

Then again, they had worked for so long on finding a lead and had come up with literally nothing so far. As much as Adriene emphasized that it was Cassia’s decision, she knew just how much was at stake for her sister. Still conflicted, she had entered his building and still conflicted she felt her heart racing in her chest as she exited the elevator that opened up directly into the penthouse. All the confidence she had built up when talking to Adriene earlier had started to slip away bit by bit on her way up here. 

It looked like Cullen had been waiting for her to come up ever since the doorman had called up to inform him he had a visitor. He was greeting her with a smile on his face that made her stomach clench again. How the hell was she supposed to just lie to him?

Before she could let her mind spiral down into more anxiety, he was right in front of her, pulling her into his arms. She didn’t even get out a single hello before his lips were on hers and he was kissing her. 

Cassia could do nothing but melt into his arms as she felt his hand wander into her hair, pressing her closer to him. He was kissing her like they hadn’t seen each other in forever when it had only been a week. A week in which many things had happened. The physical distance had made it so much easier for her to think of him in a more abstract way. Now that she felt his hand run along her sides, down her back, sending a shiver through her, the reality of her visit seemed too imposing to even think about. When he finally drew back, she could feel her breath going much harder than before. 

“I’ve missed you,” Cullen said in a low voice, looking at her with so much heat in his eyes that Cassia had to swallow.

“I… me too,” she said, grateful for sounding more together than she actually felt.

Cullen still smiled at her. “I know it was only a week but I have been looking forward to this evening every night.”

She couldn’t help but smile back at him. “I know, so have I.” 

“Mhm… It was a dreadfully boring week and I had a lot of time to think about this.” The smile on his face had turned into a telling smirk before he closed the distance between them again, kissing her once more.

“Let me just take your coat,” he said as they parted again. “And then we can have dinner.”

With a smile and a nod, Cassia shrugged out of her coat, letting Cullen take it and hang it up as she looked around his place. Everything was rather wide and open. Incredibly spacious. She didn't even dare to imagine what a place like this would cost. It was one of the tallest buildings in the city and they were right at the top. The outside walls of the living room seemed to be one big glass window from the ceiling to the floor. Something that would make it easy to feel observed if it weren’t for the fact that there was no other building that was even remotely the same height close to them. 

As Cullen promised, dinner was already set for them. Everything was so immaculate that Cassia wondered if he had actual personnel for that. But there was no one around. Not that she had seen at least. If there was a cook or a butler, they were remarkably good at being unseen. 

Their conversation during dinner was just like every other one they’ve had so far. Light-hearted, funny at times and all of it with an underlying tension, a sense of heat between them. Never before had flirting with someone felt so natural, so easy to Cassia. The more they talked, the more the decision solidified inside her. 

She would not go through with this. 

Could not go through with this. She would take Adriene’s advice and excuse herself from the mission, the team even, if she had to after this evening. Perhaps she should revisit the thoughts about leaving the city altogether. After all, no matter her participation, Adriene and the team would still be going after his organisation. There wasn’t really any scenario in which a potential relationship between them could actually happen. 

Cassia wondered what it said about her, that she even had these thoughts. That she was disappointed about this when she should be put off by the fact that he was a criminal. And not just any criminal. He had probably done more illegal things than all the other people she had helped arrest so far together. And yet she found herself wondering if there were a way to make anything work between them. Wondering in vain, she very well knew. But wondering nonetheless. 

Cullen was animatley telling a story about his travels. It was funny and charming, just as he was, and Cassia couldn’t help but smile and laugh along at his descriptions. Was any of it even true? She knew he had been at a beach that one evening, but other than that she had no idea if anything about his work meeting was even remotely true. She found that she didn’t really care as she kept listening, asking inane questions and enjoying the conversation far too much. 

Why had anyone even thought she would be a good fit for this job? How had she herself even believed it for a second? She was absolutely horrible at this. Unable to be detached, cold. Unable to focus on any sort of mission. Unable to see him as a target instead as someone she really wanted to get to know better. 

When they were done and Cullen went to get another bottle of wine, Cassia got up, wandering through the spacious living room until she was at the glass wall overlooking the city. It was dark outside, the traffic and the signs and lamps far below shimmering and blending together into a pattern of lights that mirrored the night sky, only so much brighter in comparison. Here, inside the city, the stars were barely visible, but the fast moving flickerings of a city that never really went to sleep were somehow just as fascinating to look at. She had gotten lost in watching the patterns move when she felt two arms around her and she could lean back against Cullen’s warm chest behind her.

“The view from up here is amazing,” she said quietly. She could feel his head leaning against hers as he looked down onto the still busy streets with her.

“I know, looking down from up here almost feels like the entire city is yours, doesn’t it? It’s my second favourite thing about this place.” His voice was just as quiet as hers, as if he didn’t want to break whatever mood Cassia was currently in.

“Oh?” She perked up, curiosity peaked. “What is your favourite?” 

Cullen chuckled quietly, his tone low as he spoke softly right next to her ear. “The view from my bedroom…”

“Oh…” Cassia felt a shiver going through her at the obvious innuendo. One of his arms snuck around her waist, pulling her ever so slightly closer to him as the other went up her arm. 

“Cassia, have I told you before what I do for a living?”

The sudden change of topic threw Cassia off. She blinked, trying to follow his thoughts. It was clear he was waiting for an answer from her. “Something about the club we met in, right? And something in finance?” She knew what he actually did for a living after all, but she was pretty sure that those were the only things he had actually told her about.

“Mhm, I’m afraid that I wasn’t entirely truthful,” came his answer and Cassia felt her eyebrows rise up. Where was this going? ”What I do has ultimately something to do with money, but let’s just say it is not really the legal kind of work.”

The way he said it was so casual that Cassia first thought she might have misunderstood him. There was no way he would just come out and tell her this, wasn’t there? She looked at the reflection of the two of them in the glass window, trying to make sense of this. But nothing she could see there could give her a satisfying answer. “And you are just telling me that?” she finally asked, her voice full of confusion.

Cullen’s voice sounded slightly raspy. “Maybe I want you to go into this eyes open, know the real me.” She could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin as he spoke and she tried her best to not get too tense in his arms, to relax into his embrace and not let the unrest that was starting to build up inside her again show. This was not something she had anticipated. None of them had. Adriene had given her tips and advice before coming here. About what to do to gain his trust, about how to subtly stir conversations - but not too much - and most of all, her sister had emphasized that these things took time and people like him would take forever to open up. And here he was, straight up telling her he was involved in something illegal without her even doing anything at all?

“You are very quiet,” Cullen went on after a while. “Does this change things for you? Do you no longer wish to get to know me?” He sounded so open, almost vulnerable to her as he asked the question she had asked herself before. A question her heart had already decided on despite what her mind kept saying.

“No! I mean, yes I do. But…” Cassia sighed as she tried to come up with something that explained her hesitation. “You probably shouldn’t tell me any details about what you do, though. For security reasons...”

Bad lie. Cassia knew that her reasoning was absolutely awful, but the current situation just confirmed her earlier thoughts. She didn’t want to do this. And if he told her too much, she would feel obligated to tell Adriene. To betray his trust. She felt almost stupid that it had taken her this long to actually make the decision. 

“What do you know...” Cullen’s arms around her held her a bit closer, his mouth almost at her ear as the tone of his voice subtly shifted. “You actually told the truth to your sister on the phone earlier.”

Cassia froze in his arms. This was not… No! All of her training and her preparation for the evening seemed suddenly far away, inaccessible to her. “Excuse me?” she breathed out, but her voice sounded shaky, even to herself. How did he know about that? 

“Don’t be so surprised,” he went on, his lips brushing over her ear as he spoke to her like he was still trying to seduce her. “I bugged your phone about a week ago.”

Cassia swallowed. He had known for that long? And had been listening in the entire time? This was bad. She was in his apartment, without any weapons and with no backup coming, not even wearing a wire because they had been too worried that it might be found and give her away. She wasn’t supposed to check in with Adriene until the next day. Their entire plan had been based on the fact that he had no idea. Instinctively she tried to put some distance between them but Cullen’s arms around her tightened, not letting her move away. 

“Stay,” he murmured against her skin. “We are having such a pleasant conversation after all.” 

Cassia couldn’t suppress a shiver as his fingers ran along the side of her neck. “How did you…” was all she got out before she felt him chuckle against her.

“Your friend Aveline,” he said plainly and Cassia tensed immediately. Impossible. Aveline wasn’t working with him. There was no way. Or was there?

“Oh, she is not one of mine,” Cullen said, sounding amused at Cassia’s reaction. “Half of her department though definitely is, and when my name comes up in the precinct, I know about it.” He sounded far to relaxed at his next words. “Nothing happens in my city without me knowing about it.”

Cassia cursed inwardly. That was something none of them had anticipated. It begged another question though. 

“Then why did you even agree to meet with me again?” she asked. “I could have been bugged or armed and ready to take you out after all.” He was still holding her in an unbreakable hold, yet his touches at her neck, her face, were so soft that it wasn’t just her mind that was becoming really confused.

“The elevator scans and neutralizes electronics I don’t want in my place, and you?” His hand brushed over the soft material of the blouse she was wearing. “You are definitely not armed,” he said, still sounding amused. Cassia’s eyes widened as she remembered his hands wandering all over her at their hello kiss. She hadn’t even noticed what he had been doing. “You’re not even a field agent,” Cullen went on. “That’s usually your sister, right? You on the other hand didn’t even go through any combat training...”

The way he just listed all those details made Cassia acutely aware of just how screwed she was. And just how much they had messed up the entire mission if he had this much information about her already. His hand wandered along her neck again and around her throat. He was gentle but she couldn’t help the shiver of fear running through her at the gesture. 

“Relax, Cassia,” Cullen murmured, tracing a line along her collarbone with his finger. “I am not trying to hurt you.”

“And I’m just supposed to believe that?” she got the words out with only a minor shake of her voice.

“You should.” His voice was still low at her ear, his breath hot against her face. “If I wanted to harm you, you would have never gotten out of that elevator and into my apartment. Trust me.”

Cassia shivered again. She was unsure if it were his words or his body against hers that had her skin covered in goosebumps. She looked at their reflection in the window again. The way he held her they looked like a perfectly content couple. If one managed to ignore the look of panic on her own face. 

“So what is this,” she asked, forcing herself to sound more confident than she was, “A test of some sorts?” 

Cullen’s lips had been at her neck, ghosting over her skin, barely touching her. As if they weren’t in the middle of a deeply uncomfortable conversation. She could feel his smile against her at her question. 

“Of some sorts,” he agreed. “I wanted to know what you would do if I offer you information.” Another kiss onto the sensitive spot on her neck and Cassia couldn’t hold back a small noise as his teeth scratched lightly over her skin. “I meant what I said earlier, though,” he added in a low voice. “I really did miss you.”

Cassia felt her breath hitch at his words and before she had even thought about it, she was tilting her head as if to give him better access. “So what happens now?” she asked.

“That depends entirely on you,” came Cullen’s answer. She could see he was looking at their reflection as well, seeing the questioning look all over her face. 

“You didn’t actually go after me,” he explained slowly. “So for now, I’m not going to hold your plans against you. Not after you obviously didn’t want to go through with them.” 

It sounded almost too good to be true and Cassia wasn’t sure she should blindly believe it. “So what, you are just going to let me go?”

His hold on her softened. His arms were still around her, but she could tell there was no tension behind them anymore. “If you actually want to leave, you can. I won’t stop you and you have my word that I will not come after you, provided you don’t get involved in anything concerning me again, of course.” 

He sounded remarkably sincere, and Cassia was asking herself why she was still standing motionless against him. Why wasn’t she pushing herself away as fast as she could? Part of her knew why, had heard in his tone that this was only one of the options. 

“ _If_ I want to leave?” Through their reflection she could see his smile turn into a smirk as his hand wandered down, fingers playfully circling the top button of her blouse. 

“You could, of course, decide to stay and see just where the evening might lead instead,” he murmured, and his words sounded so full of promise that Cassia shuddered again. 

“Seems to me like it’s pretty obvious where it might lead,” she shot back, gasping as he undid the button he was playing with before. 

“On the contrary,” Cullen went on to the next button. “This is a pretty big apartment, who knows where we might end up.” He undid the third button, slipping his hand inside her blouse and cupping her breast through her bra.

“So you are totally fine with me having spent most of last week on planning how to lie to you best?” she murmured in between breaths that were getting heavier with every move he made.

“I have wanted you since that first night we met and I wasn’t lying when I said I thought about this evening every night during my week away,” he said so matter-of-factly that Cassia didn’t know just what to think about that when he added, “Finding out who you are hasn’t changed that.”

“It hasn’t?” she asked full of disbelief. Her eyes found his in their reflection and the intensity of his look made her shiver. 

“If anything, it has made this much more interesting,” Cullen said, still smiling while Cassia couldn’t help the obvious look of surprise on her face. “I have read every single file your bureau has on you,” he went on to explain. “You’ve had a remarkable career. Upstanding. Exceptional sense of duty and, how did they phrase it? _‘An unwavering respect for rules and authority.’_ ” He held her closer to him again, his voice almost a whisper in her ear. “It’s fascinating. On paper, you are a remarkably good person, and you probably know more than enough about me to know for certain that I am... not. And yet…” She could feel his teeth at her earlobe, pulling slightly until she let out a small noise. “You still want me.” His hand had pulled her bra down enough so she could feel his fingers circling around her nipple, gently tugging on it until she let out a moan. 

“Tell me,” he urged her on. “Do you feel bad about this? About wanting this even though you know exactly who I am?”

For a moment, Cassia wanted to lie. Come up with a whole story about how 85awful she felt, how conflicted she was and how this shouldn’t happen. But she hadn’t wanted to lie to him before and this one felt more of a lie to herself if she was honest. 

“No,” she admitted quietly. “I probably should, but...” 

“I’m glad you don’t,” he murmured into her ear again and Cassia could hear from the satisfied rumble of his voice just how much he liked her answer. “So, what is it going to be? Do you want to leave or are you going to stay?” His other hand wandered down her half opened blouse, playfully tugging at the next button. 

Cassia’s breath hitched as she watched him closely through their reflection. “Isn’t it rather obvious by now?”

“Mhm, I’m afraid I really need you to clearly say it at least once.” Cullen hummed against her ear before undoing another button. “I prefer clear statements rather than _implied_ consent.”

She shivered again as she felt his fingertips brushing over her stomach. “I don’t want to leave,” the words rushed out of her. “I want to stay here, with you.”

The moment she had said the words, he had undone the last button and her blouse fell open. With a shrug of her shoulders, it fell down her arms and onto the floor. His fingers danced over the newly discovered skin and Cassia couldn't stop watching his every move in the window. It felt surreal and far too good, being so exposed, looking outside and past their reflection, down onto the city while he was carefully undressing her. One of his hands had snuck in between them and she felt the clasp of her bra being undone and then the garment followed her blouse onto the floor. 

She must have said at least some of her thoughts out loud, for Cullen caught her eyes, holding her gaze as he cupped both her breasts now, teasing their tips with blissful pressure. “Don’t worry,” he whispered. “Even if someone was up at this height they couldn’t see inside.” She could feel his teeth on her neck again and when he bit down just the slightest bit, Cassia let out another moan. 

Suddenly his hands were gone and he turned her around to face him. The look on his face was so much more intense up close and before she could think about it, her arms had come up and around his neck, pulling him closer until she could kiss him. When their lips touched, there was nothing slow or careful about their touches anymore. With a low groan, Cullen grabbed her so they were flush against each other and Cassia could feel his arousal through their clothes.

“No more games, please,” she mumbled between heated kisses as she tried to get his shirt open. Cullen laughed quietly as he took a step forward, then another, guiding her along until she suddenly felt the cold of the glass window behind her back.

“No promises,” he said as one of his hands disappeared under the hem of her skirt, “After all I’ve already put so much planning into playing with you all night.”

Cassia wanted to shoot a smart remark back at him, but the hand slowly running up the inside of her thigh thoroughly distracted her. His mouth was back on her throat and she turned her head enough so he had easier access. From the corner of her eye, she could still see the flickering lights of the city shining in the distance. Despite his assurance that no one could possibly see them, it felt strangely exciting to feel like they were in plain view of the entire city. “You are certain no one can see us?” she asked again, just to be sure.

“Yes,” Cullen said in between kisses down her collarbone. “I am absolutely sure. Don’t worry.” Suddenly he paused, drawing back just a bit to look at her. “Or perhaps you aren’t even worried at all?” he asked, his voice teasing and Cassia drew in a sharp breath. “Perhaps the idea of being in plain view is not as unappealing as you thought?”

Cassia swallowed hard as she found herself nodding just the tiniest bit and the look Cullen gave her made her throat feel dry. 

“Aren’t you just full of surprises,” he grinned and the look of pure want mixed with obvious delight on his face made Cassia feel bold.

“You are wearing too much,” she simply answered and this time when she went for his shirt, she managed to find the buttons easily. Once Cullen understood what she was doing, his hands flew up to help her. When she was finally able to push his shirt down his arms, feeling his skin against hers, it was like a switch was flipped, as if both of them had suddenly decided that getting rid of their remaining clothes took top priority. Harsh moves and frantic tugs replaced the careful touches and soft kisses as he pulled down her skirt and her remaining underwear in one go.

Cassia had managed to open his pants despite the distractions of his touches, but she was more than grateful when he decided to help her. When he finally crowded her back against the window, she felt heat running down through her entire body at the feeling of his naked skin pressed against hers. But before she could really get her hands on him, he was moving again, holding her back against the glass as he sank down in front of her. Cassia was still trying to catch up when he grabbed on of her legs and lifted it up over his shoulder, sending her a devious grin that had her still gasping for air when suddenly his mouth was on her. 

Her head made a dull sound against the window as she instinctively threw it back as his tongue breached her folds, finding the already swollen centre of her pleasure. Cassia bit her lips at the strong surge of pleasure working through her body. Mindlessly, her hand went into his hair, pulling slightly as she desperately tried to steady herself. Cullen moaned at her in response, stronger even when she did it again a second time, sending more sparks of pleasure through her. 

Cassia was already close when one of his fingers slipped inside of her and she lost all control, pushing herself onto his eager tongue as she felt pleasure erupt all through her body. Her eyes had fallen shut as she slowly came down. Cullen twisted slightly, letting her leg slide down until she stood on both of her feet again before he got up, his hands never once leaving her. Without thought, she reached out for him, pulling him against her to kiss him deeply. The taste of herself on his mouth send another spark of heat through her. Now that her ability to think clearly was slowly returning, the thought of reciprocating the favour was foremost on her mind, but Cullen seemed to have different plans and before Cassia could even think of moving, he was turning her back around. His hands running down her arms until he reached her wrists and placed her hands firmly against the glass.

“You said something about feeling exposed and how surprisingly good it felt earlier,” he answered her unasked question in a low voice before his hands slid down her body.

“You said no one can see us,” Cassia said softly between still ragged breaths.

“Still true,” Cullen’s voice sounded light-hearted, teasing again. “But it’s so easy to pretend like this, watching the city outside, isn’t it?” His words send shivers through Cassia as she couldn’t do anything but nod.

“Just imagine,” he went on, sounding more than a little rough by now, “if anyone _could_ see us right now, just what a sight they would get.” His hand slipped down her stomach and in between her legs, pushing them apart just a bit further before his fingers teased over her most sensitive spot again. If she focussed onto their reflection she didn’t even have to imagine. She could see right in front of her eyes just what a picture she made. They made. 

Cullen was looming over her, his broader frame almost engulfing her smaller one. One of his hands was around her chest, his fingers running along her throat, sending renewed shivers of anticipation through her with every touch while his other hand was between her legs, teasing the center of her pleasure. When two of his fingers suddenly pushed inside of her Cassia twitched under his touch, moaning loudly. 

“Cullen, please!” she barely got the words out before he twisted his hand just right, sending another bout of need through her body.

“Do you think we should maybe take this to the bedroom?” he asked, sounding like the very picture of innocence. Cassia made a noise of pure distress as she felt his hand retreating. 

“No,” she burst out. “Don’t you dare stop now!”

Cullen chuckled against her. “Then what do you want me to do? Tell me!” 

Cassia was quickly losing whatever composure had come back to her. She needed him to get his hands back on her. No, not just his hands. “Fuck me, Cullen,” she found herself begging. “Please!”

“Right here? In front of the entire city? How scandalous,” he whispered right against her ear again. Cassia was on the brink of begging him a second time when was moving behind her despite his teasing words and a moment later she felt him at her entrance, pushing into her slowly as she let out a relieved sob. 

When he was fully inside her, he stilled and she could feel _him_ shiver against her for a change. “Cassia…” he murmured and for a moment she was almost overwhelmed with the pure need she heard in his voice. 

When he finally started moving, Cassia wished she had something to hold on to, clenching her hands against the smooth glass surface of the window instead. His thrusts were long and deep and it didn’t take him long to figure out just the right angle to make her moan out loud with every move. His hand was suddenly between her legs again, and his fingers found just the right spot, teasing her along with every push. Despite having just come, Cassia could feel the beginnings of another orgasm building up quickly. The combined sensations of him moving in and out of her and his hand on her making her unable to do anything put push back into him again and again. In front of her, the city lights were still flickering in the night.

Cullen’s voice was still low but undeniably breathy as he spoke again. “Still enjoying the view?” he murmured. The raspiness of his voice sent goosebumps all over her skin as some pieces of their earlier conversation suddenly fell into place. _‘Nothing happens in my city without me knowing about it.’_ he had said. _‘Looking down from up here almost feels like the entire city is yours.’_

“You mean looking down at your kingdom like a king from his castle?” she got out, sounding surprisingly stable in between moans.

Cullen let out a surprised laugh, before picking up his rhythm. “Look at you, trying to figure me out…”

“Like this isn’t a demonstration, a power play even,” Cassia huffed and was almost impressed with herself for still being able to listen to him, to answer even while he was already close to making her see stars again. 

Cullen’s grip on her tightened as he was getting close. “Oh Cassia,” he murmured against her ear. “You got me all wrong.” 

Before she could even think about an answer he pushed into her deeply. “This is not a power play,” he whispered. “This is an offering.” And just like that his fingers touched her just right and she came even harder than before, the pleasure running through her making her unable to do anything but buck helplessly in his hold as he sped up one more time and joined her just moments after.

When she came down from her second high, her mind was far too muddled to even think about the implications he had just made. No, that would be something to think about another time. For now she was just content to bask in the feeling of the afterglow. When she finally took her hands off the window a while later, she could see two rather prominent hand prints before she turned around to face him again. 

“Now we can take this to the bedroom,” Cassia said simply, not willing to let the evening and whatever was happening between them end yet. Her legs were slightly shaky from all the tension leaving her body and Cullen only grinned at her as he noticed. Without warning, he swept her up into his arms. 

“You’re going to love the view in there, too,” he promised her with a smile that sent another shiver through Cassia. She had no doubt about that. 


End file.
